Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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Laura
Laura
And I'm not backsliding. I've posted more than once that DH is superfluous in the day to day things while DS is a TODDLER. He won't be a toddler forever and as he grows into a man, DH will become more and more vital.
C
My DH has very flexible hours - leaves long before DS wakes up in the a.m. and his home by the time DS wakes from his p.m. nap. Yes, despite how much time DH spends with him, DS clearly prefers me. He cries when I leave, he wants to be consoled by me, he wants me to get his juice, etc.. it's Mommy Mommy Mommy. DH knows he 2nd best in DS's eyes and he's ok with that. He thinks it's awesome that DS and I are so close and he likes the fact that I'm home with him most of the time. (I work 2 day/3 day alternating weeks)
I don't think that just b/c the OP feels that being home with mom is more important that spending tons of time with dad means that she doesn't encouraged her DS to love his father and to enjoy the time he spends with him. I don't think her DH would be so willing to work as hard as he does if he thought she was home trashing him to his DS. LOL
I think people have taken her comments to the absolute extreme for the sake of argument. I guess that's the point of this board, but I don't think it's an accurate portrayal of what she actually said or how she actually feels. A.
Andrea...
mom
Laura
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