Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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If a child spends the majority of time with his/her mother as the primary caretaker, at what point is the transition made into dad's increasing role in anticipation of the "growing into a man" years? And if the child isn't used to that kind of relationship with his father, how likely is he to be receptive to it later on? Wouldn't he be more inclined to still turn to mom for everything?
Just things I'm wondering about.....
Laura
It's not that DS doesn't have any sort of relationship with his father. He's playing with him right now. It's just that I change the majority of diapers, I do the majority of feedings, I pick out the clothes...I do the majority of childcare. And DS is a momma's boy right now. He's all boy...I expect that in a few years, he'll want nothing to do with mom and far more to do with dad. I know very few 11 year old boys who are still momma's boys...actually, I don't think I know any!
Does that answer your question? C
Laura
I've got tupperware that's lasted longer than your marriage. Not saying you aren't happy, only that you've still got a LONG way to go before you start holding yourself up as an example.
Edited 7/4/2003 3:26:37 PM ET by taylormomma
FWIW, my mother has tupperware that's probably older than you are...so I suppose by your logic, you've also still got a looong way to go before you hold yourself up as an example. DH and I have been married nearly a fourth of my life, we've been together over a third of my life. You may not be impressed by that, but I refuse to be any less proud of that fact. I've got underwear that has lasted longer than many marriages, so what? C
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