Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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I've always been taught that anyone who points out that she's classier than you, isn't!
An OBSERVATION! C
I think what's hard for me (and probably the OP too) to understand is why a mother would "choose" to be away from their child for 40 hours a week if they don't really have to. I know that if I didn't have to work, even pt, I wouldn't. I really enjoy being home with my children. I can't imagine that I would enjoy any other career more.
I guess it just depends on what you think is more in the long run.. your child saying "my mom stayed home, took care of me, and was always there when I needed/wanted her" or "my mom sent me to an ivy league school and bought me a car for my 16th bday". A.
Andrea...
mom
We weren't discussing YOUR family and YOUR situation in the message your friend responded to. . .we were discussing generalities.
80 hours is not 40 hours. . .
And anyone who thinks our relationships with our kids has been compromised hasn't seen us with them. . .and since Virgo has seen Savcal with her kids and vice versa. . .let us assure you. . .our relationships are just fine.
Wow! Thank you for allowing me to just beat you at your game with that little admission. I mean, if y'all haven't seen my DH and DS together, how do you KNOW their relationship has been compromised by the five hours they aren't spending together each week b/c DH is working?
ROTFLMAO! C
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