Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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The lifestyle we've chosen is the one that works best for our family. I don't have to try on others for size, this one fits just right. C
And I disagree that time is not in short supply when working a normal schedule. I posted to you earlier that even if my DH worked "normal hours" he would only spend an additional 5 hours a week with DS...to US, that's not worth 40 hrs a week away from mom with a DCP. C
Tsk, tsk, tsk, oh the EEEVIL SAHM, so selfish...
C
I'd hardly call talking about a friend to perfect strangers on the internet "backstabbing". It's not like she's calling up other friends and saying "you know what so n' so is doing.. blah blah blah". You don't know the person she's referencing, you'll never know the person she's referencing, you don't know her and never will... so I think calling it backstabbing is extreme. She's using a friend as an example of someone who is doing something that she disagrees with. It's not a big deal. You seem to be looking for things to fault her on personally, rather than simply disagreeing with her. A.
Andrea...
mom
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You honestly think that she masqueraded as her DH? Just b/c she disagrees with you (actually it's more just about the fact that you disagree with her) doesn't mean she's a psycho and only a psycho would do what you're accusing her of. A.
Andrea...
mom
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I guess I'm really just curious about why you feel you have the right to judge anyone for their reasons for working? You have said over & over again "different strokes..." & whatever works for your family, etc. etc.; which indicates a tolerance for differences. However, you contiune to say there is a bad/wrong way to raise children/organize a family. I don't understand. You're either tolerant of differences or you're not.
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