Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?

Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.

My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.

Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?

Susan

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2003 - 12:52am
I don't mind if people see it. But when total strangers take it upon themselves to MEMORIZE the details of it, well, then honey that says WAY more about the total stranger and an obsession that is more than a little bizarre than it says about me.
Avatar for mama2gigi
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2003 - 12:54am
Who the hell is redrockmom (or whatever you said that name was)?

Andrea...
mom

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2003 - 12:54am
I didn't say I was classier than you. I described two kinds of behavior and labeled THEM as either classy or not so much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2003 - 12:57am
I'm sure your friends appreciate the distinction. I'll bet it makes them feel much better to know you think it's perfectly acceptable to slam them to total strangers, but that you draw the line as slamming them to people they know. that must be a real comfort to them.

Strangely enough, where I come from, we don't slam our friends to ANYONE; when we disagree with our friends, we tell our FRIENDS, personally, to their face. we're funny that way.

Avatar for mama2gigi
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2003 - 1:00am
Why are you harping on the fact that she read your website and repeated some of the information contained in it? If you didn't want that information made public then don't put it on the internet. Duh!

I know a lot of information about a lot of people that post at PS, from reading their posts, from looking at their profiles and from their websites. That doesn't mean I'm stalking them!! You obviously think a lot of yourself to draw the conclusion that b/c someone remembered a trivial fact about you that they're stalking you. Get over it.. and yourself! A.

Andrea...
mom

Avatar for mama2gigi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2003 - 1:01am
I am bowing at your feet oh virtuous one. Now come down off your high horse and get real. A.

Andrea...
mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2003 - 1:03am
<>

Why? there are, quite literally, hundreds. Who has that kind of time, let alone that kind of interest? Except you, of course.

<>

I shall endeavor to continue my life, despite the tragedy of having offended you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2003 - 1:04am
At least he made it above a "pinch of grandma" LOL!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2003 - 1:12am
Well, then, there goes your theory of WOHM's and daycare out the door.

<>

Assuming your little theory is true......if a child doesn't remember anyway, then it doesn't matter who watches him. Because...... he's not going to remember.

Avatar for mama2gigi
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-05-2003 - 1:19am
Because her DH will be close to retiring by the time their DS is forming any strong and lasting memories... but most WOHP's will still be working their 40+ hours long afterwards. And like she said.. DS is their 1st child and they plan on having more. That means that DS may have to wait a little longer to have dad around a lot, but the younger ones will benefit from his hard work at an even younger age. I'm sure DS won't have a problem with it when he's the only 10yr old with a dad who's retired and attends EVERY baseball game, parent teacher meeting, etc. A.

Andrea...
mom

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