Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
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Are mega hours ok if you have a SAHP?
| Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:00am |
This is kind a a spin off from the equalty and careers thread. I have been reading many posts from the thread about SAHPs who have spouses who work lots of hours. Is it OK for one spouse to work 80 hours a week (assuming it's his choice), as long as there is a SAHP with the kids? Is it OK to to be a workaholic or career driven and come home at 10pm and leave the house at dawn because you have career goals that require those kinds of hours? Is that fair to the kids and ultimately fair to the relationship between dad and the child to assume the position that as long as mom is home, dad can be gone all the time?
Personally, it would make me crazy to have my dh at work 100 hours a week, regardless of my employment status. Crazy because I wouldn't want to have to handle everything that pertains to home and kids and crazy worrying that the kids were not developing a close relationship with dad. There is something to be said, IMHO, for dad beng the one to show up at some of the parent meetings, events, etc.
My bro commutes to NYC daily. He leaves at 4:30am and doesn't get home til 8-9pm every night. He misses just about everything having to with his kids and does not even get to eat one meal with them during the week. That would make me nuts.
Is it ok to have an absent parent if the other parent is a SAHP?
Susan

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Andrea...
mom
I'm willing to bet that H&I doesn't backstab her friends b/c she doesn't have any to backstab. With her vicious, miserable and self-righteous attitude I'd be surprised if many people wanted to hang around with her.
In addition, H&I obviously has some grossly over-inflated opinion of herself in thinking that a perfect stranger has nothing better to do with their time than to cyber-stalk her. I'm just trying to breathe a little reality into her life.
I realize that her answers are straight forward. It's not her answers I'm taking issue with (I truly believe that everyone is entitled to his/her opinion). It's her constant harping on the fact that the OP knew about her darn bird. Who cares?
She also seems convinced that the OP is someone else. Which I find hilarious b/c I've known the OP for over 2 years now and I know she's not anyone other than who she says she is. H&I has her knickers in a twist about someone/thing and she can't seem to see the forest for the trees. A.
Edited 7/5/2003 2:14:18 AM ET by mama2gigi
Andrea...
mom
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I have gathered that he is retiring in no less than 10 years. So does that mean at 12 years old their son will finally be able to retain memories of his life. Seems like an awfully long time to wait.
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I know many full-time working dads who do all that.......So what's your point?
And I will point out (though naturally this might not happen in this particular family) that I have seen what happens to children in other families where the father had much more time for subsequent children: very often the father was much closer to the children he spent more time with as babies and toddlers and the ones who had not had a close relationship in his/her younger years tended to feel very left out. It is not a given, but it does very often happen.
Laura
I have never seen you post here. So I must say those are quite the scathing remarks for someone who just "popped up" to defend a friend. Let's see first it was her husband, then you......So when is the rest of here family going to jump in to back up her lame debate.
Even my DH (who has recently started following this thread b/c he wanted to know what was getting me so riled up) sees why her DH is working so hard right now. My DH works pretty much standard hours and schedules any additional work for times when the kids are otherwise occupied anyways. But, he understands why someone would want to bust their butt now, so that they can be home more later.
If the OP and I should understand why WOHM's choose to do so, then why can't you understand why her DH makes the choices he does? There is a lot of talk about open-mindedness on this board. But that seems to be all it is.. talk. A.
Andrea...
mom
Laura
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Yeah, your just a regular Mother Theresa, aren't you!!!!!!! LOL
My character is just fine. I sleep well at night. It's the vicious, snarky, self-righteous ladies on this board that need a lesson in good character. A.
Andrea...
mom
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