Are nannies as good for kids as parents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Are nannies as good for kids as parents?
540
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:13pm

At lunch, I was walking at a park near my office.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:17pm

I think that if what you saw characterized the entire life of the children, that the children of those mothers who were clearly interacting would probably be better off in the long run....

However....
there is nothing wrong with a kid going to the park and exploring it on his or her own terms while an adult watches from a park bench.

Not every child needs or wants a hug when he or she falls down.

Not all mothers are as relaxed as the ones you saw. Not all mothers provide "healthy snacks" and patiently answer a billion questions a day.

Not all nannies are as paranoid about injury as the one you saw.

Children who spend time in the park with their nannies on Monday may also spend time at the park with their parents on Saturday.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:25pm

I used to wonder about things like that, but it was a very long time ago I last gave it any serious thought.

First of all, not all nannies yak on their cell phones and not all mommies patiently answer "why is the sky blue" questions. Also, you would not have found me anywhere near a preschool soccer clinic. Kiddo started activities when she was big enough for drop-off. She is 16 now, and her development seems to be just peachy.

The obsession with stimulating synapses and obsessing over maximum development really took off when my dd was toddler age. Some of it was due to a few rat studies and data from things like Head Start. Hillary Clinton took that and bundled it all into a conference that also spawned a report. Many of these theories have since been questioned or debunked.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:26pm

You also have to remember the mothers that you *didn't* see at the park - the ones who aren't taking their children out anywhere and just let them watch TV and play on their own all day.

I think some mothers are better than some nannies, and some nannies are better than some mothers.

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Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:28pm
I did take my kid to the park, every single day pretty much, and sometimes twice in one day. However, I always sat on a bench. I never played with her. The whole point of the park was to make her play with other kids and try things on her own.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:29pm
And how does OP know that the nanny wasnt on the phone with the parent of the child?

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&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:30pm
Oh, I somehow missed the preschool soccer clinic thing. You know, I am pretty sure that I worry more about the effect a diet of preschool soccer clinics would have on preschoolers than whether Nanny kept them safe without constant interaction and hoevering while they were gleefully, creatively, and independently exploring the park.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:31pm
Yep! Me too. I'd give her a couple pushes on the swing or help her with something if she needed it, but she liked exploring on her own and making new friends.

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&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2008
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:31pm

If I had to answer based solely on what you witnessed, I would have to say that's not a good situation. My concern would be, how often does this happen and are the parents aware of it? I would expect more if I was paying for someone to care for my child.


On the other hand, maybe the nanny was answering questions all morning and was taking a bit of a rest. It's just really hard to say without knowing the whole situation. I go to the park sometimes and my son will dump me to play with his friends. :) I am there watching him, but he wants to be socializing with his friends or exploring on his own. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:32pm

wait! so you've never had an adult conversation on the phone while your kids were involved playing on their own??? I find it hard to believe that 100% of the mommies were involved with their children 100% of the time.

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just a bit dramatic, don't ya think? How do you know what the nanny did with her charge for the entire morning? how about when they got home from the park? Heck, maybe the child is a MAJOR chatterbox and the nanny just wanted a few quiet minutes.

BTW, we've had nannies for our children since 1995/6. Their care has supplemented our care.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:34pm
What would it do to their development? My guess is that it gives the little kids the sense that different adults who care for them have different care styles and different personalities. I really don't think it's necessary for kids to get 24/7 "look at the baby squirrel, what color is the sky?" talks as long as they get those from somebody.

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