Are nannies as good for kids as parents?

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Registered: 06-20-2006
Are nannies as good for kids as parents?
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Mon, 04-06-2009 - 4:13pm

At lunch, I was walking at a park near my office.

Kat

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Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 04-07-2009 - 1:53am
Yes. It was important to me, so I took the time to teach her. OTOH, her cousins learned when they were about the same age, so I doubt it is that unusual. That said, her cousins are Danish, and I have noticed that, on average, Danish parents tend to expect earlier independence in their kids than US parents. The cousins, including dd, also learned to ride their bikes around age 3/4 (without training wheels). They fell down a lot at first, but they learned. Holding a pencil correctly, dressing self, tying shoes, simple cooking were other skills that we (SILs and I) seemed to teach earlier than most US parents.


Edited 4/7/2009 4:52 am ET by rollmops2009
Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 04-07-2009 - 1:54am
How ridiculous.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-07-2009 - 7:38am
A parent who tries to keep up a constant barrage of engagement with their children isn't doing their kids any favors. I think engagement sometimes is a very good thing. But I doubt the budding soccer moms with their kids at the preschool soccer clinic keep that up on a constant basis. Which I don't mean to be derisive. I think it's a GOOD thing to lay off sometimes. Perhaps those moms would talk to each other once their kids are out on the field or when they ran into friends at a different time at the playground. I don't think that constant engagement is ideal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-07-2009 - 7:45am
Taking her OP at face value, I didn't read a description of nannies not doing their job. I read a description of nannies keeping the kids in their charge safe and supervised. In her description, the nannies had less verbal interaction with the kids than the moms at that particular point in time. And I frankly don't see why this is such a terrible thing or evidence of falling down on the job. In fact, one nanny kept up a steady stream of safety-related chatter and hovered for safety so clearly the kid in her charge was kept safe. And this was a problem why? As far as I can tell, the OP saw this as a problem because it was purely safety-related chatter rather than "the sky is blue because..." educational chatter. Again, so what. I don't think children need to be bombarded with educational interaction at all times. It should happen sometimes, but there's no reason to think from this snapshot that these kids never get that. Or to think that the kids with their moms never get a break from it. All things in moderation, including educational interaction.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-07-2009 - 7:47am
When it's toddlers it's not pica. That's just silly hyperbole.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-07-2009 - 7:49am
It's a serious disorder in adults. When toddlers eat dirt it's a normal developmental stage. MNearly everything that toddlers do as part of their normal development is considered pathological or at least troblesome when done by an adult.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-07-2009 - 7:50am

Toddlers eating dirt isn't pica. I seriously doubt even you believe that. It's just hyperbole as a debate tactic.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 04-07-2009 - 7:51am
ITA. My grandparents had a lovely friend who always told our parents to leave us alone, on the grounds that "children need peace." The time to observe and explore without an adult constantly butting in with helpful and edumacational comments is key to developing creativity, problem solving skills, initiative, independent thought etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-07-2009 - 7:53am
What does pica have to do with toddler exploration? Freud knew that toddlers putting non-food things in their mouth was part of normal development. He called it the oral stage and only saw it as a problem if the person didn't move past it. I always like to give Freud credit for the things he got right and this is one of them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 04-07-2009 - 8:13am

<>

I thought that was obvious. The basis for superceding her opinion is that mine is based on having EMPLOYED nannies for the last 13 years.

I didn't respond directly to you -- as I didn't think I needed to say the same thing to BOTH of you.

And, actually, I HAVE observed my nannies on many occasions -- as has my dh. Dh is here with her/them first thing in the morning for about an hour. I'm home in the afternoon for an hour. Also, I'm with the nanny during every December, February and April break, as well as all of summer vacation. I've watched them with my kids.

eileen

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