Are we realy that different?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Are we realy that different?
372
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 11:15am

Often SAHMs will talk about WOHM like they are a foreign species and WOHMs do the same talking about SAHMs like they are a foreign species.

Are SAHM and WOHM really that different?

As someone who has done both I don't think so. I did not suddenly change when I returned to the work force or when I again left the work force for a few months.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 3:26pm

Since you hire the sitter for those times that you are in class, perhaps they think in terms of semesters instead of it being a more long term job. So, in their view, they only commit to the job as long as you are in that class. Once that class is over, they move on to something else.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 3:28pm
I don't think so. I've had two each for a year, we discuss the schedule for the next semester months before the next one ends, and it's pretty typically the same nights, the hours change by a little here and there, sometimes it's two nights instead of three. Dh had one before that, same issue. Two of them have had to be let go rather than them leaving, one left on her own but it wasn't because of us (personal legal matter came up).

Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' -Kahlil Gibran



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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 4:40pm

For us we just felt that if I did choose to woh (really, never gave it a realistic thought)

Polkadotandflipflops

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 12:10pm

Ah well, it the only thing that came to mind.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 1:04pm
at least you get a year from them, LOL ;).

 

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 7:36pm

I don't think you can tell the difference between a sahm and a wohm just by looking at them, but me woh is different from me sah for my kids. I'm not interchangeable with a babysitter to them.

In addition, in my case, I didn't go back to work until my younger dd was 4, and I didn't hire a nanny, so my younger dd's days looked different. She went from 7.5 hrs/wk in preschool to 30 hrs/wk in preschool/dc for 2 years until she started work. In addition, she wasn't able to go to pre-K or half-day K at the public school like her sister did (when I was a sahm) because there was no childcare.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:34pm

What does parenting have to do with babysitting?

What woh, or sah for that matter, is interchangeable with a babysitter?

Does that mean that the woh parent in a sah/wohp situation is relegated to the less than babysitter category when they supervise their children?

Parenting is, er, parenting, whether sah, woh, wah. My kids have been subjected to all three, but I think the consistence in parenting, by my husband and myself, is the key. They know their parents, they know their age appropriate responsibilities, they know we love and support them within some disciplinary limits. One was in daycare ft from 1 to K, one was 3 day pt dc from 1 to K, and one never in daycare before elementary school. They are 10, 13, 15 now and if you quizzed them, I think you'd be hard pressed to see any differences in their experience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:43pm

I wanted to clarify...I'm not interchangeable with my a babysitter for my children either, absoutely not, no one can replace the parent.


What I did say was if I chose to work (past, present or future) we would hire a babysitter to care for the children and yes, much of their day would have been the same, we are pretty much always home. What they did during the day wouldn't have changed, the change would have been Mom would not be here with them, a babysitter would have been.

Polkadotandflipflops

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 9:38am
I do agree that you can't walk though the aisle at the grocery and tell who woh or sah.

Polkadots&FlipFlops

Polkadotandflipflops

 

 

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 12:57pm
I don't think parenting has anything to do with babysitting. That was my point. She said there was no difference to her kids between woh and sah because her kids would have done the same stuff if she had woh, just with a babysitter. I think there's a difference because a parent and a babysitter.

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