Are working moms falling apart?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Are working moms falling apart?
20
Wed, 09-18-2013 - 2:31pm

Today.com talked to the author of a new book about how working moms are on the brink of falling apart.  After her third child was born, the author wasn't able to deal with all the stress of both home and work, and ended up having a breakdown.  This is why she thinks working moms are maxed out: 

We’ve been going through this huge change over the last few decades of women entering the workforce, but none of our institutions, including the workplace, have kept up with that change.

Most jobs are still made for people who have an adult at home who can take care of the kids and do the grocery shopping and fill out the school forms and attend the parent-teacher conferences in the middle of the day. That’s not how we’re living anymore.

So I think that women are basically on the brink of this dysfunction in society where we are expecting them to be able to do things that we don’t have time to do anymore. And we end up pushing ourselves, trying to make it work and end up making ourselves sick.

Read more: http://www.today.com/moms/brink-many-working-moms-falling-apart-author-says-4B11184706

If you are a working mom, do you feel that you are handling the stress well?  Do you agree with her that working and raising kids in America "sucks", or is this a result of her trying to be supermom?

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Wed, 09-18-2013 - 2:44pm

Completely 100% agree with her.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2013
Wed, 09-18-2013 - 4:39pm

Both of my grandmothers worked FT and my mother went back to work when I was in middle school. I think that the phenomenon she describes is less b/c society won't adapt to working mothers (as if my grandmothers had it easier working FT and raising kids in the 1950s) and more because of the ridiculous demands we as a society put on ourselves and children today. From multiple sports per season (or even multiple teams) to enrichment classes--we are running ourselves (and our kids) ragged. IMO, the lack of playtime and time to just be is what is pushing so many to their breaking point.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Wed, 09-18-2013 - 4:42pm

QueenbeeNotaWannabee wrote:
<p>Both of my grandmothers worked FT and my mother went back to work when I was in middle school. I think that the phenomenon she describes is less b/c society won't adapt to working mothers (as if my grandmothers had it easier working FT and raising kids in the 1950s) and more because of the ridiculous demands we as a society put on ourselves and children today. From multiple sports per season (or even multiple teams) to enrichment classes--we are running ourselves (and our kids) ragged. IMO, the lack of playtime and time to just be is what is pushing so many to their breaking point.</p>

I completely agree with this, add in there long commutes for many.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 09-18-2013 - 10:03pm

I have to laugh when any worker ~ single or a mom ~ claims the U.S is working longer hours than ever before or than other countries.  What a joke.  I don't think most workers even know what it's like to work hard.  No breaks, a short lunch "hour," not leaving until the best job is done. And "burnout?"  99% of workers in the US have no idea what that means. 

This blogger's solution ~ give workers more autonomy.  More than what?  When I hear anyone maintains 850 FB friends during the work day, and I see how iVillage comes to a halt at close of business Friday nights only to resume Monday, a.m., and I hear of workers visiting the gym during their lunch "hour,"  I have to ask how much more autonomy does this blogger want?

The question is not whether working and raising kids sucks.  It's, are you doing your job, or did you stop when you had kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 09-18-2013 - 10:13pm
It's true. We have longer work days and fewer vacation hours than other developed countries. The women who post on this board are not necessarily typical in terms of the degree of control over our work hours and general autonomy we have. We're a fairly privileged lot for the mist part, both the WOHMs and the SAHMs among us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 09-18-2013 - 10:41pm

bordwithyou wrote:
It's true. We have longer work days and fewer vacation hours than other developed countries. The women who post on this board are not necessarily typical in terms of the degree of control over our work hours and general autonomy we have. We're a fairly privileged lot for the mist part, both the WOHMs and the SAHMs among us.

Where you see privilege, I see much struggling.  I also don't see how atypical "we" all are.  Versus flipping burgers at McDonalds, "we" have computer access throughout the workday and I don't see that making anyone more productive at all.  Quite the contrary.  People are still working about 9 to 5, give or take hours each day playing on iVillage, FB, online dating sites.  I don't believe most workers today throughout the world understand how to discipline themselves. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 09-18-2013 - 10:58pm

You see "much struggling" among the women here? Interesting. I know of one or two situations where families are struggling; they are not the people who post most often. I can't speak for anyone else but my workday is not 9-5 M-F.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 7:29am
Debunks the whole you can have it all theory, don'cha think. Yes, I agree wholeheartly with what this author has to say too.

 

 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 7:31am
P.S. Melissa, I like that you find all sides of this coin, from moms who think they can have it all to stories about where happiness lies to things like this. Has made and continues to make cool debate, Thanks :)

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 8:09am

jamblessedthree wrote:
Debunks the whole you can have it all theory, don'cha think. Yes, I agree wholeheartly with what this author has to say too.

Actually, one writer's opinion debunks nothing. 

Did you read the piece? Because the author in this case also supports all sorts of other things, like lengthier paid maternal leave and guaranteed sick days. Oh, and she's also critical of your icon Sheryl Sandberg. I'm curious, do you agree with her in total? Or just the convenient bits and pieces?

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