Are working moms stretched too thin?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Are working moms stretched too thin?
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Tue, 06-13-2006 - 2:45pm

Do you think a mom who works full-time and has kids is stretched too thin?

I was working full-time up till November of 2005. Then I decided that it was all too much. I was exhausted and found that when I did get to spend time with my little guy (he is now 2 1/2) I was very impatient with him because I was soo tired. Also the stress of work often overflowed into my personal life (both with ds and dh).

Now that I have been home for over 6 months, I am finally starting to be more patient and am enjoying my son instead of rushing him along. If he want to take 20 minutes to get into the car - ok, no problem.

So - do you think that trying to juggle work, kids, marriage and all the stresses that come with those things is too much? (I did)

Maybe when my son is older - then I will go back to work and it might be easier because he will be more self-sufficient? Who knows? All I know is that for now, I am enjoying being a SAHM and am glad for the time I get to devote to my son and the lower stress levels (that I believe were very unhealthy for me).

josee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:21pm
How did you know?

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:24pm
Yeah, it probably does. In your scenario, I imagine I would have done the same thing. The point was that for me, that would be an absolute last resort. In my reality, there would have been other options.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:27pm

Dated

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:28pm

"Ok, well let's see if I can try to clarify. If I understand the OP correctly, she would be sacrificing her time with her child if she WOH. She feels that she would be sacrificing time with her child because she personally treasures spending every lunchtime with him and wants to maximise her chances of seeing all of his firsts. She doesn't think that she'll feel this way for the rest of his life, but in the early years she genuinely prefers to spend nearly all of her time with him, so WOH would mean sacrificing many hours to work that she would prefer to have with her child. Please correct me if I am wrong!"

Exactly! I thought that's what I was saying and I think from some of the replies, some people understood. But maybe I didn't do a good enough job. I think it would be nearly impossible for anyone to express tehmselves in a way that 100% of the people will understand you 100% of the time. But I am trying. Also, new to this board and just learning the ways that people debate and communicate here. I hope to be able to keep hanging around and maybe get better at it!

I know we have moved pass this, but i had missed the "Please correct me if I am wrong!" part earlier when I was quickly scanning posts to try and catch up. Felt I had to reply.

Thanks




Edited 6/16/2006 4:32 pm ET by noah2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:34pm

"put the groceries in the cooler at the store and wait for the child to calm down"

Say WHAT??? There is no way EVER that any of our grocery stores would allow that. It's not that they have a posted policy saying "no groceries that you already bought back in the cooler while your child screams". It's that they have a very clear demarcation between the area where food has not yet been paid for and the area where it has and they enforce this division to protect themselves from shoplifting. Perhaps in a small store in a small town it would be ok to pop your bag into the cooler and the cashier would trust that nothing was quietly added to the bag- or check the receipt. But here with the big chains, they've cut back on personnel by converting many checkout lanes into self-scan/self-bag with no cashier, and the only way to protect themselves from shoplifting in that sort of set-up is to strongly forbid any food from crossing back into the store once it's been paid for because an "I already paid for that" style of shoplifting would be too easy given their skeleton staffing.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:35pm

Honestly, I don't find it hard to understand when somebody says they don't want to work because they don't want to give up that time with their kids, and I would never assume that means they want to spend 24/7 with their kids. I just don't see how that requires any detail, irl or here.

I think she *is* saying she doesn't want to work at all right now. Again, I don't find that hard to understand or something that requires some big justification. The reason she gave is that she doesn't want to give up that time with her child right now. I don't know if she would feel stretched too thin by working pt, since she's hasn't tried that, but clearly she doesn't want to do that. Just as you don't want to work pt.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:37pm

I don't need noah to say it over and over to believe it. I believed her the first time she said it, in this thread. I believed that pnj doesn't want to sah the first time she said it too.

And really, let's just move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:37pm
i guess my kids were just dumb at two years old - because they didnt have the memory skills to remember from day to day why they got into trouble. and you can call doing that to a child silly all you want but it is not something that i have ever even considered doing while raising my kids. and yes, i do consider it cruel to tell one child they cant go somewhere fun because they misbahaved sometime in the past, which they may or may not even remember doing, and then come home bragging about all the fun wonderful things we did without them. but hey, we all have to parent the way we see best.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:39pm

"I don't know if she would feel stretched too thin by working pt, since she's hasn't tried that, but clearly she doesn't want to do that"

I did consider PT, but then decided it wasnt for me at this time. I WANT to be a SAHM.

But, BTW - anyone work PT and how is it? If you have ever also worked FT - how would you compare the two in respect to the amount of time you get to spend with family? What are the pluses and minuses? Its something I may consider later (like when DS is in school).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:46pm
i totally agree, firsts that only happen once are the important ones not the ones that they are going to continue doing every day for the rest of their lives. although i can see in the case of a handicapped or special needs child it could be a little different - always got to throw in those disclaimers
Jennie

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