Are working moms stretched too thin?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Are working moms stretched too thin?
1078
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 2:45pm

Do you think a mom who works full-time and has kids is stretched too thin?

I was working full-time up till November of 2005. Then I decided that it was all too much. I was exhausted and found that when I did get to spend time with my little guy (he is now 2 1/2) I was very impatient with him because I was soo tired. Also the stress of work often overflowed into my personal life (both with ds and dh).

Now that I have been home for over 6 months, I am finally starting to be more patient and am enjoying my son instead of rushing him along. If he want to take 20 minutes to get into the car - ok, no problem.

So - do you think that trying to juggle work, kids, marriage and all the stresses that come with those things is too much? (I did)

Maybe when my son is older - then I will go back to work and it might be easier because he will be more self-sufficient? Who knows? All I know is that for now, I am enjoying being a SAHM and am glad for the time I get to devote to my son and the lower stress levels (that I believe were very unhealthy for me).

josee

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:50pm

Well, I have no problem at all telling my child she can't go to the park this week because she misbehaved last week, or that she has to ride in the stroller at the mall because she wandered off the last time we were there. You do have to be careful about how you express things so that you aren't "bragging" about the fun thing you did without her so much as expressing regret that she missed this time, but it generally doesn't take doing that more than once for the lesson to be learned. Your idea that this goes on for 6 months is just wrong.

I'm sorry you find saying no to the park cruel, but I can live with it. I wouldn't wrestle a screaming child into a car seat and strap her in, myself. I'm sure there are parents who think I'm cruel for letting my kids go without a coat if that's what they choose or missing lunch at school if they forget it, but I can live with that too. My kids are learning to be responsible, and that means more to me than the approval of others who parent differently.

Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:53pm

IMO, this is worse than forcing the child into the car seat and being done with it. The 2 yo is too young to associate the not getting in the car seat with the not getting ice cream, not going to the park, etc. I would consider coming home and talking about how fun it was, etc. teasing, which is not something I would allow my child to do, and certainly not something I personally would do to one of my children.

Lora

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:53pm
I work pt, about 30 hrs/wk during the school year, and I like it a lot. I'm lucky enough to get summers off. I've never woh ft since having kids, so I can't really compare it, but my kids are both school-aged, and being pt gives me extra time to volunteer at school, etc., which is important to me. I was a sahm for 6 years before that, so I can understand wanting to be home with a 2-yr-old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:54pm

I think those are very important too.

But I am also totally into the "spontaneous" little things that happen on a daily basis. They are part of what keeps me going and happy with staying home. Thats a big part of why I do it.

(I am not, in any way, saying that you miss all those things if you are at work - not saying that, but being with ds more now that i quit - i get more of these everyday little things and find myself more focused on them and enjoying them more).

Josee

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:56pm
I sah for 7+ years and just returned to work 3 months ago ft (my ft is 3, 12 hr days). I really loved sah. But, now that both my girls are going to be in school ft, I wanted to go back to work. I lvoe working. However, I do not like working ft. The older the girls are getting, the harder the scheduling is getting. I think, for me, pt would be ideal. Also, with working pt or pool in a hospital you have more flexibility in your scheduling.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:56pm
To each his own. I think you aren't giving 2-yr-olds enough credit, myself. I certainly wouldn't tease my child, but if her hearing that we had fun at an event she didn't get to go to because she misbehaved is teasing in your book, I can live with it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:56pm
i am all for teaching kids to be responsible and truly feel like my two older kids are very responsible. but i just wouldnt be comfortable "bragging" about all the fun we had without a particular child - and it is bragging. once again it must just be taht my kids are slow because i cant think of any lesson they have learned in one sitting at age two. heck, even with my 3 year old it takes more than once for lessons to sink in.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:58pm

That sounds nice (PT work), and getting summers off - great! I think, if I can find suitable work, I would like to try that when DS is in school.

"I was a sahm for 6 years before that, so I can understand wanting to be home with a 2-yr-old."

Its not for everyone, but I am really enjoying it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2006
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:59pm

And thank you. Love the kitty pic!

Kathleen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 4:59pm

Thats what I was thinking. Just hope I can find a part time job when the time comes (when DS is in school that is).

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