Are working moms stretched too thin?
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| Tue, 06-13-2006 - 2:45pm |
Do you think a mom who works full-time and has kids is stretched too thin?
I was working full-time up till November of 2005. Then I decided that it was all too much. I was exhausted and found that when I did get to spend time with my little guy (he is now 2 1/2) I was very impatient with him because I was soo tired. Also the stress of work often overflowed into my personal life (both with ds and dh).
Now that I have been home for over 6 months, I am finally starting to be more patient and am enjoying my son instead of rushing him along. If he want to take 20 minutes to get into the car - ok, no problem.
So - do you think that trying to juggle work, kids, marriage and all the stresses that come with those things is too much? (I did)
Maybe when my son is older - then I will go back to work and it might be easier because he will be more self-sufficient? Who knows? All I know is that for now, I am enjoying being a SAHM and am glad for the time I get to devote to my son and the lower stress levels (that I believe were very unhealthy for me).
josee

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I have large gaps in my chldhood memories too. While I can tell you the day to day routine, what I remember is the stuff that stands out. That's normally the way memory works. While we will recall what we repeat over and over, we end up with more memories of the unusual (just ask anyone here where they were and what they were doing when they learned of the attach on the WTC and the Pentagon on 9/11/01 or for the older folks, same question but when Kennedy was shot.)
If I went by my memories, I'd have to say I spent as much time with my mother as my father but I know that is not true. He rarely made is weekly visitations. Yet, I have vivid memories of being with him. As many, I'm sure, as my memories of being with my mother. My memories of my mother just kind of blend one into another. Visits from my father were unusual.
If I went by memories, I'd say I spent more time starting/ending school years than I did in the middle but I know that's not true. I spent more time in summer when we could swim than on the other three seasons when we couldn't. I know winters happened but we kind of holed up when it got cold and didn't come out again until spring. My years consisted of Easter, my birthday, the end of school, the 4th of July, the family vacation, the start of school, Thanksgiving and Christmas, lol. I know there were a lot of days in between but I have as many memories of special events as I do the day to day stuff. If I went by my memories, the year is about 3 weeks long, lol.
Edited 6/18/2006 12:08 pm ET by kbmammm
Thats interesting because for me, yes, ok - I do remember the unusual, but I also have many (quite vivid) memories of the everyday things. I can close my eyes and see my mom making us soup for lunch and my little plastic bowl and spoon she used to serve it in. I can recall the little routine we did when I got up from a nap. Maybe its the repetition of it. Maybe I dont remember one particular day, but since we did it every day - I have very good recollection of what it involved..the sounds, smells and feelings that went with it. I think I have more memories of that stuff then the "unusual" stuff. It also brings back more "cozy" memories (feeling safe, happy ect) then any of the other "unusual" stuff. I think thats what I am trying to give my son.
If I was working - I am sure he would also have tons of memories of the everyday things too. But I chose to be there during the day too. For him to establish those little daytime routines with me. Kids that go to daycare will also have good memories of their daytime routine, - just different ones. Thats all. And they will recall all the great memories they had with mom and dad on weekends and evenings. Not saying there is anything wrong with that. Its just that I chose something different. And, hey, I may be totally wrong. I am not expert. Its my first time being a mom. I am just trying to do what i think is best for our little family.
"I know there were a lot of days in between but I have as many memories of special events as I do the day to day stuff. If I went by my memories, the year is about 3 weeks long, lol."
Yep, I can understand that.
My sisters, at age 7, remember our mom being pregnant. But I don't. I remember reading mom's copy of Dr. Spock and changing my brother's diapers.
Chris
The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett
That's funny. My youngest brother was born when I was 12 and the only thing I recall from my moms pregnancy was that she wore a skirt to church one Sunday and he decided to turn and her skirt fell down. That's it. Nothing else stands out WRT her pregnancies with my younger siblings. I do remember babies coming home from the hospital though.
While I do remember the structure of our days and I can picture us eating dinner together or watching TV after dinner together, I have lots of memories of the unusual. It's odd how the proportions are switched. I know there were way more average every day things but I have just as many memories of unusual things. Like the beginning and end of school years seeiming to take up more of the year than the rest of the year. I know January-May happened but it's September, October (Halloween party), November (Thanksgiving break), December (Christmas break) and the end of the year I recall most vividly. Yet, I had to have spent a lot more time in school when we weren't breaking for holidays and having parties.
Funny, but I don't recall Easter breaks. Nor do I recall going to school well into June like my kids do. Maybe we didn't have them. I know we didn't have mid winter breaks. It's odd how memory works. What the brain chooses to keep and what it overlays on other memories or simply discards. It's like when it comes to ordinary days, the brain says "We aleady have one like this" and just dumps it.
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