Are working moms stretched too thin?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Are working moms stretched too thin?
1078
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 2:45pm

Do you think a mom who works full-time and has kids is stretched too thin?

I was working full-time up till November of 2005. Then I decided that it was all too much. I was exhausted and found that when I did get to spend time with my little guy (he is now 2 1/2) I was very impatient with him because I was soo tired. Also the stress of work often overflowed into my personal life (both with ds and dh).

Now that I have been home for over 6 months, I am finally starting to be more patient and am enjoying my son instead of rushing him along. If he want to take 20 minutes to get into the car - ok, no problem.

So - do you think that trying to juggle work, kids, marriage and all the stresses that come with those things is too much? (I did)

Maybe when my son is older - then I will go back to work and it might be easier because he will be more self-sufficient? Who knows? All I know is that for now, I am enjoying being a SAHM and am glad for the time I get to devote to my son and the lower stress levels (that I believe were very unhealthy for me).

josee

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 2:48pm
Exactly. I know both sahm and wohm and there parenting style dictates how much their childrne participate in household chores.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 3:15pm

I think it also has to do with the type of child as well.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 3:59pm

Hi
Thanks for expressing your opinion.

"How do the KIDS feel when they're mom and dad has to work" - I don't really know how my child feels about this yet since he is only 2.5 years old. I hope when he is older we can discuss it. For now, I am simply doing what I believe is best for our family.

Also, the reason I initially asked the question about how working affects moms and do they feel its too much (some do, some don't) - is because most people reading this board are women and I wanted to know how they felt. It would be neat to get kids to tell us how they feel, but a lot of them are too young and the older ones probably wouldn't think it was too cool to hang out here! (lol)

So to answer you questions on how the KIDS feel - we would kind of be answering on their behalf and may, therefore, not get a real and true answer to that.

What I can say is that when I was young my mom was home with me and my brother and I have nothing but wonderful memories of that time she spent with us. I was a happy, well-adjusted kid. I am very thankful to my mom. But, since I did not go to daycare, I can't comment on how that makes a kid feel. I am sure many who did go to daycare had wonderful experiences. Can't judge what I did not experience.

josee

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 4:09pm

"The children I know of working mothers became young adults who were much better at functioning in society".

I, also, know lots children of working moms that turned out to be great at functioning in society. BUT, the same can be said about many children of SAHMs. I don't think if your mom worked, that this necessarily means a better functioning adult. I believe there are many, many, many more factors involved in what makes a high functioning adult (other then just SAHM vs WOHM). Don't you?

"My mom SAH, and I didn't learn to cook until I was 32, and don't even get me started on my cleaning abilities."

My mom was also SAH and she tought us to cook and clean at an early age. I can say that about many of my friends who also had SAHMs. I depends on the particular mom. Just the same with working moms, some of their kids learn to cook and clean early on, some don't - depends on that mom (or dad).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 4:14pm

Jennie

"this is why i feel so strongly about parenting each individual child instead of having a set way of parenting"

I will keep this advice in mind when we finally manage to have baby #2! I am sure it will come in handy, thanks!

Josee

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 10:45pm
Yep. My kids do not seem to be affected by me returning to work at all. Their routine is basically the same and they are at the ages where their friends are more interesting than me..lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 6:01am
I've known a few SAHM who were served the divorce papers. Didn't really have a chance to get a job first before the divorce happened.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 6:03am
So all the statistics are wrong. Women don't disproportionately fall into proverty or have their standard of living reduced significantly after divorce. And one reason for this is not because after years out of the workforce it is hard to get back in? Because between statistics and personal anctedotes, I think this is legitmitately a cost and risk to staying home.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 8:09am
I think what you described from your own childhood is a parenting issue, not a working vs. staying home one. I know as many SAHMs that expect their oldest children to be childcare providers and housekeepers as I do WOHMs. And I know just as many WOHMs that let their kids skate by with no responsibility as I do SAHMs. Some moms, regardless of their working situation, take into account the child's feelings and the need to balance responsibility with kid time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 8:22am
you would think since by sah these women have been doing the toughest job in the world the job offers would just pour in if they decided they wanted/needed to do something less challenging.......
Jennie

Pages