My daughter is 11 years old, and is in her seventh year of Ukrainian dancing. I've been hanging out at dance studios for a long time, and I don't see how that is "having kids grow up too fast". Being involved in sports is a valuable tool, especially for girls - it has correlations to higher grades, lower instances of sexual activity, less smoking, etc. Plus, there is very little "running wild" at this level - there is a high expectation of parent involvement, too.
You seem to think that monitored independance = running wild or growing up too fast. I completely disagree. As for being babied - ever heard the term "helicopter parent"? I think the parents that can't let go and don't want their child to be independant are more like to suffer from this.
Really? I never had to feel like some "terrorist" was going to attack when I was a kid. I never had to worry if I walked down the street alone or with friends. Yes, we knew about kidnappers then but we didn't know any kids who actually got kidnapped by us. We didn't have to worry. People hitchhicked all the time. You would be out of your mind to do that now. I don't see how you don't think the world has changed. Yes, things were happening when we were kids but it was not as rampant as it is now. I think it is good that things are on the news so parents can be cautious with what and where their children go.
The things you mention have much more to do with culture and environment than anything else. I have taken extraordinary steps to make sure that my dd would never be in an environment that included cheerleading or 10yos going off to the nail salon. IOW, because I take it for granted that she must be allowed a great deal of freedom and be allowed to participate actively in her community of friends etc, I equally take it for granted that I have a responsibility to make sure that her environment is one that I feel OK about letting her out into.
I wish I lived with you then because everyone I know got spanked. Once CPS came around when my sister was younger, and she and all her friends threatened to call them if she got spanked, no one was allowed to spank anymore. Not that I condone it as I don't hit my children but I think there was a different "respect" to parents then kids have now.
Unfortunately all the girls are growing up too fast by me. Yes, I personally have seen 9 and 10 year olds getting pedicures with me, 12 year olds getting eyebrow waxes. These were things that were not allowed to until at least 16. Girls at 11 and 12 are getting real coach bags. I didn't have a real designer bag until I was 19 and "I" paid for it. The parents are pushing their kids to grow up so fast. The girls 16 and 17 are dressing like 20 year olds and the parents have no problem with this. Sex at 14 and 15 and that is ok? This attitudes don't start with parents at age 13 or 14, they are allowing their kids to do more mature things at younger ages.
OK, I am sorry but that made me LOL. I DID have to worry about terrorists when I was a kid. Have you ever heard of Baader-Meinhoff? Brigade Rosso? The IRA? PLO, back when they still hijacked planes? In spite of it, we traveled widely and I remember walking around Rome by myself at age 13 or 14 and having a great time. Also at age 13 I went to England for a summer program with a girlfriend. The trip was chaperoned to some degree and we lived with host families, but we still had opportunities to walk around London, for example, on our own, and we did, in spite of the IRA already being active then.
As for the rest, please read your own post again. All you are really saying is that when you were a kid people were more IGNORANT of what went on. Kids were being kidnapped back then too, but people did not worry about it. It has not become more "rampant." It remains very rare in fact, but people are more hysterical about it is all.
Huh? Modern children have a fraction of the freedoms and responsibilities that children used to have. It used to be the NORM for young children to take care of only somewhat younger children. And to be trusted to be alone for periods of time. Today's children are kept in a state of arrested development that would have been unthinkable to previous generations. Today's children are treated LESS like adults than at any previous time in history. At 10 I certainly had the freedoms and responisiblities that you are shuddering at because that was the norm at the time. DD is unlikely to be hired as a babysitter as youthfully as I was simply because by the time she hits 12, people will probably be insisting that nobody under 30 is qualified to be with young children. So she'll miss out on that responsibility. Hopefully she'll still be considered qualified to be a mother's helper, as I hired the then 12yo neighbor to watch her as an infant while I mowed the lawn or raked leaves.
We did NOT have to worry about terrorists in our backyard, literally. A child did not have to worry about getting bombed on a subway and went places by themselves at young ages. As children, we did NOT know about being scared going on a plane. Parents were able for us to be kids and not have to let us know every danger in the world.
OK, that to me is again a different issue. You will not avoid the problem by trying to keep your kids babies past their "use by" dates. What you describe would be equally distasteful to me as it is to you. That is why I do not live in a neighborhood where that is common. That is why my kid does not go to one of the fancy schools where such behavior is common and why we avoid conspicuous and vulgar consumption as much as possible.
So far it has worked out just fine. Dd has expressed no desire for either manicures or designer bags. Her friends do not have such things either and among dd's circle of kids, the behaviors you describe are simply be uncool. However, I still do not see how giving your kids responsibilities, teaching them to take good care of themselves, teaching them to take the bus by themselves etc would lead to designer bags at 12.
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My daughter is 11 years old, and is in her seventh year of Ukrainian dancing. I've been hanging out at dance studios for a long time, and I don't see how that is "having kids grow up too fast". Being involved in sports is a valuable tool, especially for girls - it has correlations to higher grades, lower instances of sexual activity, less smoking, etc. Plus, there is very little "running wild" at this level - there is a high expectation of parent involvement, too.
You seem to think that monitored independance = running wild or growing up too fast. I completely disagree. As for being babied - ever heard the term "helicopter parent"? I think the parents that can't let go and don't want their child to be independant are more like to suffer from this.
Carrie
I don't see how you don't think the world has changed. Yes, things were happening when we were kids but it was not as rampant as it is now. I think it is good that things are on the news so parents can be cautious with what and where their children go.
Or you could do it my parents' way and say, "Ok, you don't have to go. But while you are home, take out the trash."
Freedom and responsibility in equal measure.
OK, I am sorry but that made me LOL. I DID have to worry about terrorists when I was a kid. Have you ever heard of Baader-Meinhoff? Brigade Rosso? The IRA? PLO, back when they still hijacked planes? In spite of it, we traveled widely and I remember walking around Rome by myself at age 13 or 14 and having a great time. Also at age 13 I went to England for a summer program with a girlfriend. The trip was chaperoned to some degree and we lived with host families, but we still had opportunities to walk around London, for example, on our own, and we did, in spite of the IRA already being active then.
As for the rest, please read your own post again. All you are really saying is that when you were a kid people were more IGNORANT of what went on. Kids were being kidnapped back then too, but people did not worry about it. It has not become more "rampant." It remains very rare in fact, but people are more hysterical about it is all.
As children, we did NOT know about being scared going on a plane. Parents were able for us to be kids and not have to let us know every danger in the world.
OK, that to me is again a different issue. You will not avoid the problem by trying to keep your kids babies past their "use by" dates. What you describe would be equally distasteful to me as it is to you. That is why I do not live in a neighborhood where that is common. That is why my kid does not go to one of the fancy schools where such behavior is common and why we avoid conspicuous and vulgar consumption as much as possible.
So far it has worked out just fine. Dd has expressed no desire for either manicures or designer bags. Her friends do not have such things either and among dd's circle of kids, the behaviors you describe are simply be uncool. However, I still do not see how giving your kids responsibilities, teaching them to take good care of themselves, teaching them to take the bus by themselves etc would lead to designer bags at 12.
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