Have you ever seen any of the national championships on the tv sports channels? So not Dallas Cowgirl style. It's quite amazing to watch. The precision, accuracy, skill, strength, etc that these girls/guys convey is quite something.
The mother at the playground sounds a lot like me. If I think DS is doing something too dangerous, I'll usually tell him I have no interest in spending the evening at the ER. Works every time.
Of course, other parents are horrified at the climbing he does. The kid could climb before he could walk and has yet to hurt himself. I'm not going to forbid him from the jungle gym/monkey bars or climbing trees b/c he "might" break something. My sister broke her arm on a swingset when we were 11. No long term harm done. She also broke a finger playing touch football w/the neighbors when we were 15. That kind of stuff happens.
not hazeleyes,but you're misunderstanding *fear* if you think it's only related to the danger of physical punishment....in my teens,i remember hearing some kids bring up things that i just couldn't imagine doing because "mom would kill me.." (even though they wouldn't,lol) or thinking "what on earth would your mom think of that..". things like that.
i believe fear is indeed paralel to respect. the kids who didn't give a damn and at more risk for consequences of their behaviors were also the kids less respectful.
My mother was disabled and had limited motility. She watched DS for short periods of time in her own home. DS knew to call 911 if Grammy ever fell and couldn't get back up. That never happened and now that she's gone, I'm so grateful that DS spent as much time with her as he did, b/c he'll never have that opportunity again.
I don't think physical limitations necessarily rule out babysitting. She couldn't have cared for an infant, but was fine w/my preschooler.
Here we go back to something I (and others) have said over and over on this board. I want my kids to do the right thing because it's the right thing. I don't want them doing it because mom said so or out of fear of my reaction (be it punishment or disappointment in them). As younger kids (toddlers), there has to be an element of that, but as my kids get older I want them to do the right things, and avoid the wrong things, because they're right (or wrong).
This to me is akin to hellfire and brimstone preaching and the guilt that many churches use as ways to make their congregations behave.
It applies to many laws as well. I don't assault people. But the reason I don't assault people is because it is mean and wrong and hurts othres. My reason is not because it is against the law. If it was legal, I still wouldn't assault people.
So, back to kids ... Imagine a child being faced with peers telling her to smoke a cigarette. I really want my kid to say "No, that's nasty. It's unhealthy, stupid, and smelly. I'd like to keep my lungs intact, tyvm." That, imo, is a much better reason than "No, my mom will be mad." (although the mom thing is preferable to the kid saying yes) It's very easy for peers to say "Oh, but your mom will never know." or for my kid to be upset with me and do it because she knows it will make me mad.
I don't remember any TB scare but that could have been regional. I had the polio vacine in Iowa but went to school in southern CA. I was born in 1952 so I'm 54 now.
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I attended many a drinking party in HS while parents were home. Likewise, parents don't have to be gone for teenagers to
The mother at the playground sounds a lot like me. If I think DS is doing something too dangerous, I'll usually tell him I have no interest in spending the evening at the ER. Works every time.
Of course, other parents are horrified at the climbing he does. The kid could climb before he could walk and has yet to hurt himself. I'm not going to forbid him from the jungle gym/monkey bars or climbing trees b/c he "might" break something. My sister broke her arm on a swingset when we were 11. No long term harm done. She also broke a finger playing touch football w/the neighbors when we were 15. That kind of stuff happens.
I dunno.
Sabina
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
Sabina
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
not hazeleyes,but you're misunderstanding *fear* if you think it's only related to the danger of physical punishment....in my teens,i remember hearing some kids bring up things that i just couldn't imagine doing because "mom would kill me.." (even though they wouldn't,lol) or thinking "what on earth would your mom think of that..". things like that.
i believe fear is indeed paralel to respect. the kids who didn't give a damn and at more risk for consequences of their behaviors were also the kids less respectful.
My mother was disabled and had limited motility. She watched DS for short periods of time in her own home. DS knew to call 911 if Grammy ever fell and couldn't get back up. That never happened and now that she's gone, I'm so grateful that DS spent as much time with her as he did, b/c he'll never have that opportunity again.
I don't think physical limitations necessarily rule out babysitting. She couldn't have cared for an infant, but was fine w/my preschooler.
Sabina
Sabina
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
Here we go back to something I (and others) have said over and over on this board. I want my kids to do the right thing because it's the right thing. I don't want them doing it because mom said so or out of fear of my reaction (be it punishment or disappointment in them). As younger kids (toddlers), there has to be an element of that, but as my kids get older I want them to do the right things, and avoid the wrong things, because they're right (or wrong).
This to me is akin to hellfire and brimstone preaching and the guilt that many churches use as ways to make their congregations behave.
It applies to many laws as well. I don't assault people. But the reason I don't assault people is because it is mean and wrong and hurts othres. My reason is not because it is against the law. If it was legal, I still wouldn't assault people.
So, back to kids ... Imagine a child being faced with peers telling her to smoke a cigarette. I really want my kid to say "No, that's nasty. It's unhealthy, stupid, and smelly. I'd like to keep my lungs intact, tyvm." That, imo, is a much better reason than "No, my mom will be mad." (although the mom thing is preferable to the kid saying yes) It's very easy for peers to say "Oh, but your mom will never know." or for my kid to be upset with me and do it because she knows it will make me mad.
I don't remember any TB scare but that could have been regional. I had the polio vacine in Iowa but went to school in southern CA. I was born in 1952 so I'm 54 now.
Chris
The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett
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