Are you "Anxious Parents"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Are you "Anxious Parents"?
1765
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 8:24am

Today's MSN News features this article

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 7:55pm

I attended many a drinking party in HS while parents were home. Likewise, parents don't have to be gone for teenagers to

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 8:09pm
Have you ever seen any of the national championships on the tv sports channels? So not Dallas Cowgirl style. It's quite amazing to watch. The precision, accuracy, skill, strength, etc that these girls/guys convey is quite something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 8:12pm

The mother at the playground sounds a lot like me. If I think DS is doing something too dangerous, I'll usually tell him I have no interest in spending the evening at the ER. Works every time.


Of course, other parents are horrified at the climbing he does. The kid could climb before he could walk and has yet to hurt himself. I'm not going to forbid him from the jungle gym/monkey bars or climbing trees b/c he "might" break something. My sister broke her arm on a swingset when we were 11. No long term harm done. She also broke a finger playing touch football w/the neighbors when we were 15. That kind of stuff happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 8:14pm

I dunno.

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 8:20pm
I've caught a few minutes of it; I'll admit I'm not up on cheerleading.

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 8:22pm

not hazeleyes,but you're misunderstanding *fear* if you think it's only related to the danger of physical punishment....in my teens,i remember hearing some kids bring up things that i just couldn't imagine doing because "mom would kill me.." (even though they wouldn't,lol) or thinking "what on earth would your mom think of that..". things like that.

i believe fear is indeed paralel to respect. the kids who didn't give a damn and at more risk for consequences of their behaviors were also the kids less respectful.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 8:22pm

My mother was disabled and had limited motility. She watched DS for short periods of time in her own home. DS knew to call 911 if Grammy ever fell and couldn't get back up. That never happened and now that she's gone, I'm so grateful that DS spent as much time with her as he did, b/c he'll never have that opportunity again.


I don't think physical limitations necessarily rule out babysitting. She couldn't have cared for an infant, but was fine w/my preschooler.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 8:27pm
The problem with confusing fear and respect is that while fear may indeed by brought about through physical punishment, respect hardly ever is.

Sabina


Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 8:35pm

Here we go back to something I (and others) have said over and over on this board. I want my kids to do the right thing because it's the right thing. I don't want them doing it because mom said so or out of fear of my reaction (be it punishment or disappointment in them). As younger kids (toddlers), there has to be an element of that, but as my kids get older I want them to do the right things, and avoid the wrong things, because they're right (or wrong).

This to me is akin to hellfire and brimstone preaching and the guilt that many churches use as ways to make their congregations behave.

It applies to many laws as well. I don't assault people. But the reason I don't assault people is because it is mean and wrong and hurts othres. My reason is not because it is against the law. If it was legal, I still wouldn't assault people.

So, back to kids ... Imagine a child being faced with peers telling her to smoke a cigarette. I really want my kid to say "No, that's nasty. It's unhealthy, stupid, and smelly. I'd like to keep my lungs intact, tyvm." That, imo, is a much better reason than "No, my mom will be mad." (although the mom thing is preferable to the kid saying yes) It's very easy for peers to say "Oh, but your mom will never know." or for my kid to be upset with me and do it because she knows it will make me mad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 8:44pm

I don't remember any TB scare but that could have been regional. I had the polio vacine in Iowa but went to school in southern CA. I was born in 1952 so I'm 54 now.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

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