This would be one of the downsides of the sort of upbringing you seem to idealize. I really would rather that my dd grew up to do what SHE thought was right, and have her idea of "right" be reasonable hopefully.
My grandmother was a hell of a woman. She also left my mom and aunt's biological father because he was a violent alcoholic. She met and married him pretty quickly as was common then, so didnt have an opportunity to know his pattern. Apparently he would fall off the wagon every 6 mos or so and go on a 3 month bender. Often disappearing for weeks at a time. He was an attorney working for his father's law firm, so when it happened, it was just hushed up and he could come back to work when he was "done".
The whole family felt this behavior was "ok", but my grandmother was like, I dont think so! So after the second time it happened, she packed up an 18 month old and a 3 month old and left. In 1950. She was amazing.
So these people you know, you know their sexual habits, who they had sex with before their spouse and if they ever had an affair and with who & how long it lasted etc.?
I bet she was. Your story also illustrates that alcoholism, violence and abuse cut across class and educational lines. Unfortunately, so many people still somehow believe that things like that do not happen in "nice" families.
That was me. There were things I avoided not because I feared grounding/loss of privileges/parents in general but because my parents pointed out a some cautionary cases who bumbled around our town and explained how a person could get to that state. So I avoided some things out of fear. But it wasn't fear of them. It was fear of ending up like "that guy". (It was the late 70's so those who had been indulging since the late 60's were in scary shape.)
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Stepdad.
My grandmother was a hell of a woman. She also left my mom and aunt's biological father because he was a violent alcoholic. She met and married him pretty quickly as was common then, so didnt have an opportunity to know his pattern. Apparently he would fall off the wagon every 6 mos or so and go on a 3 month bender. Often disappearing for weeks at a time. He was an attorney working for his father's law firm, so when it happened, it was just hushed up and he could come back to work when he was "done".
The whole family felt this behavior was "ok", but my grandmother was like, I dont think so! So after the second time it happened, she packed up an 18 month old and a 3 month old and left. In 1950. She was amazing.
So these people you know, you know their sexual habits, who they had sex with before their spouse and if they ever had an affair and with who & how long it lasted etc.?
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