Article: Why the debate is irrelevant

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Article: Why the debate is irrelevant
315
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 6:04pm

http://www.helium.com/items/1303907-stay-at-home-moms-vs-working-moms

Your thoughts? Do you ever wonder whether the reason why the debates always turn into much-too-literal conversations about things like lasagna is because there isn't really anything substantive to debate about SAH vs WOH?















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Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 3:38am

Yes, I have thought so many times. I also think that there is a fairly large group of posters here who frequently express a similar viewpoint.

At the same time, I do still there are things to discuss with regard to raising kids and working, or choosing not to work. Not whether a SAHM is a better mother than a WOHM or whether SAHMs do a disservice to their dds, and other nonsense like that, but all the other stuff, what do you base the decision of sah vs woh on, what are the problems and frustrations of each, how can some of those be overcome etc. There is also a whole political aspect to the question, which gets surprisingly little airtime here.

~~~~~ o o o ~~~~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 8:46am

at the begining of that link, the POV direction from SAH is left and WOH, right..funny, i thought SAH views were more conservative than liberal.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2009
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 1:32pm

I think the article is right in that the only debate there left is if you want to bash other people's choices, the other side objecting and people from the middle debating those that say that stuff.

FTR I think CLW wrote the paragraph about how awful & lazy sahms are! It sounds like it is straight from her beliefs.

In the frequently relevant (to so many debates on Ivillage) words of Inigio Montoya from The Princess Bride "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

In the frequently relevant (to so many debates on Ivillage) words of Inigio Montoya from The Princess Bride "You keep using that

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 8:31am

Yes, I think she's absolutely right.

However, the debate continues because it's necessary for women to know that both choices are ok. And as long as people are saying that SAHMs are lazy or WOHMs don't love their kids, the rest of us have to be here to say 'Um, no'.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 8:32am

What do you mean by a political aspect? Let's give it some airtime ;o)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 8:33am

< i thought SAH views were more conservative than liberal. >

How can you tell a woman's politics by her SAH/WOH status?

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 8:53am

Well, the US is notorious for its poor family policies. There is a clear class element to the SAH/WOH question, especially in the US.

Because child care is generally expensive, especially if you expect a certain standard, you need a fairly high income to make it worthwhile to work with one, and especially with 2 or 3 kids needing daycare.

Maternity leave is short and not paid. Paternity leave does not exist. However, if you have an upscale job, you may get better leave options, as in longer leave and some of it paid even. Again, the people on the lower end of the pay scale get stuck with poor conditions on top of not very good pay.

All in all, it is a huge difference from how the whole thing is handled in, for example, Scandinavia. If you have good quality, subsidized daycare and a year of paid parental leave, with the option of taking more at reduced pay, then returning to work becomes far more of a no-brainer.

~~~~~ o o o ~~~~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 3:21pm

Oh I see.

Damn, I have nothing to argue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 2:31pm

"How can you tell a woman's politics by her SAH/WOH status?"


Hmmmm - this could be debate-worthy, lol. I'll give it a crack.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 2:36pm
I think this debate is more about the people than about the issue. Motherhood brings out a hornest nest of emotions

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