Article: Why the debate is irrelevant

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Article: Why the debate is irrelevant
315
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 6:04pm

http://www.helium.com/items/1303907-stay-at-home-moms-vs-working-moms

Your thoughts? Do you ever wonder whether the reason why the debates always turn into much-too-literal conversations about things like lasagna is because there isn't really anything substantive to debate about SAH vs WOH?















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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 2:39pm
LOL, that is so true!














Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 4:06pm

The counterargument is that people who can afford to sah need a spouse with a good-paying job, meaning higher education and income and the same effect.

It's interesting, but I'm always surprised how many wohms on these boards don't support the sort of family-friendly social policies rollmops is talking about above. Year-long maternity leave, for instance, is often seen as "paying people to sah."

Hope you & your family are well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 4:29pm

LOL - exactly.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 4:36pm
Says the wife of a cop! ;) I still have a few ideals left, but good public policy is pragmatic.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 5:37pm

So true, lol!

Meez 3D avatar avatars games
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 10:43pm

Can you highlight exactly where Jennlfg said or inferred she feels insecure?

Because I'm reading insecurity into your response, but maybe that's just me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 10:44pm

Really what QOL stuff can't 1st world non-US countries afford? Universal healthcare, a lowcost university education, family friendly leave policies for both mothers and fathers, their almost obscene amount of vacation time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 11:29pm

No, you know little about European leave policies. Many last much longer than a year and leave is equally given to both mothers and fathers. Check it out - Germany up to 3 years shared between mother and father.

So, this a real debate point? How many boats and toys do you have and how does that contribute to a productive life? BTW - They have homes, cars, even boats etc, but they might be a bit smaller. This is a problem? My brother lives in London. His home, car, and family is smaller than mine. He's also materially wealthier than me. So? But I've got a boat!

< I plan to stay home about ten years. They can't do that.>

So you have healthcare? A potential lowcost university education for your children? BTW - they can stay at home too, the majority choice not to because the society has made it much easier to choose a reasonable work-life balance.

Additionally, what do you plan to do when you go back to the workforce, job or careerwise? What do you plan for you tween when your working? I choose to be at home with teens and tweens, but I've also got a career. IME, it's a much more of a challenge than parenting infants, toddlers, and preschoolers. YMMV, but I'm parenting 10, 12, 15yos now, and the younger years were easier regardless of work status (except for the sleep deprived infant stage).

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 2:58am

No, the quality of life in countries outside the US is not uniformly or generally bad. Nor is the standard of living for an ordinary middle class family very different in northern Europe than it is in the US.

Taxes are higher in Scandinavia than they are in the US, that much is true. But you get much more in return for your taxes than childcare. You also get medical care, college, dental care for your kids, including orthodontics, family leave, retirement benefits, elder care and many other benefits.

**** ^^^ ****
You can do the work of the mind without your hands,
but not that of the hand without your mind.

Danish proverb

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 3:09am

Of course they can stay home ten years if they want. There is not some law that both parents MUST work. It is just that for most people there is no overwhelming reason NOT to work, given that it is possible to combine work and family without undue stress in most cases.

As far as toys, that is quite funny. Yeah, the average middle class American family can "always" own both a house a boat and a sports car. Uhm, not. Conversely, no Europeans own houses and boats. Again, uhm, not. You are imagining differences that may have existed 50 or more years ago, in some parts of Europe (as compared to the US). Things have changed since WWII, and by a lot.

Also, of course there are poor corners of Europe, like Bulgaria, some of the villages in southern Italy, working class towns in northern England etc. However, there are poor corners of the US too, like the poor parts of New Orleans or LA or NY or of any big city really, as well as poor rural communities in Alabama, Mississippi, Texas or any number of other places. Besides, it arguably sucks way worse to be poor in the US than to be poor in Europe, and I am pretty sure that the poverty rate in the US is much higher than it is in Europe. So, again, the comparison you are making really does not hold very well.

**** ^^^ ****
You can do the work of the mind without your hands,
but not that of the hand without your mind.

Danish proverb




Edited 2/18/2010 6:05 am ET by rollmops2009

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