attachment parenting
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| Mon, 08-14-2006 - 3:17pm |
A woman I know (I used to work with her dh) practices "attachment parenting". Here is a definition (for those who don't know what it is):
"Attachment Parenting includes respecting your child's needs, feeding on demand, and answering your baby's cries. Other parts of Attachment Parenting include co-sleeping, nursing on demand, sling or other baby carrier wearing, and cloth diapering. Not all Attachment Parents practice all of the above, but never the less love the idea of Attachment Parenting and comforting their children.
Attachment parenting uses mild discipline methods and avoids all physical or emotional punishment, such as inflicting shame on a child for inappropriate behavior. Children are encouraged and allowed to sleep with their parents, and you treat your bed as the family bed. Meeting your child's needs according to the child's time frame during the early years of development is an essential part of attachment parenting. Children will be allowed to grow and learn at their own pace and not according to standard time frames."
What do you all think of attachment parenting?
I don't see attachment parenting as something a WOH parent could do, or could they? What do u think?
I am also curious to see if SAHPs vs/ WOHPs will have different opionions on this topic.
If anyone here practices attachment parenting - was your decision to do so closely linked with your decision to be a SAHP?
josee

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Awww, you just reminded me of a very tender (no pun intended!) time in my life when I was known as "the human pacifier."
It is also a very sweet experience for a mother, too.
"No I didn't ask you that. You must have me confused with someone else."
I guess I did. My bad.
""Shouldn't a baby be attached to his/her mother rather than an inanimate object? I don't see it as unhealthy.""
What is there to explain? You wouldn't prefer your kid to be more attached to you than to a teddy bear made in some sweatshop?
"Neither do we. I was just happy that my DH could be just as much of a comfort as myself when our children were babies. I could actually get some things done without having to be the one the baby wanted all the time."
So could I. My baby didn't need to be comforted 100% of the time. And if I wasn't around when he needed comforting, Dad was fine. However, it was nice to be able to calm him down in less than 10 seconds when I needed to.
They grow out of it. Seriously, they do. Every child has his or her own timetable. My son hadn't had any really serious boo-boos in a while, and the other day he got his finger caught in a door. I went to him and held him for a while, half expecting him to want to nurse, but just holding him and talking to him did the trick. At that point I realized my little boy is growing up! Six months ago, he would have wanted to nurse for a second. Now, not so much.
When my mother used to ask me a question similar to what you just asked I would always say "I'm sure he'll be done by the time he's in grad school" Really, how can you put an age limit on something so individual? For my kid, it was about 2.5 years. For others it may be much shorter or longer.
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Can I ask that we cut the drama? No I want my children to be attached to myself and their father. My son had a very strong attachment to a teddy bear he made when his baby sister was born. We still have him. I could care less if he is attached to that. Just because he is attached to a teddy bear, or a baby is attached to a bottle or blanket so what? It isn't an either or. Just because you nurse doesn't mean your child wouldn't have an attachment other than your breast.
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You couldn't do that without nursing?
Edited 8/23/2006 2:00 pm ET by mbanc17
Well, I would give another example of the calming influence of my nursing on my son when he had an accident, but apparently I'm being dramatic. I'm just amazed that apparently you can calm a hysterical hurt infant in less than 10 seconds without nursing. I couldn't, and I'm not at all ashamed to admit it.
Personally, I don't want my child overly attached to a blanket or a teddy bear or an inanimate object. To each her own on that one I suppose.
Maybe I'm more aware of it, since I've done both. With my DD, if she was upset, we'd first try walking with her, then rocking, then her swing, maybe her paci (which she ditched at 6 mos. and replaced with a blanket she still sleeps with). Sometimes the first option worked, sometimes we'd try 3-4 things before she calmed down. With DS, nursing *always* calmed him down, and very quickly. I've never seen a FF baby respond to any comfort item or ritual as quickly as my DS responded to nursing when upset. Nor have a I ever seen a BF baby put to the breast when he/she was upset and not settle down in a matter of seconds.
I nursed my DS during the day at his childcare center, where 7 or the 8 babies in his room were nursed. Just mentioning this to point out that I've seen more than my own baby being nursed, and for more than just a passing glance at the mall. I've mainly seen bottle fed babies when out and about.
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