attachment parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
attachment parenting
1781
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 3:17pm

A woman I know (I used to work with her dh) practices "attachment parenting". Here is a definition (for those who don't know what it is):

"Attachment Parenting includes respecting your child's needs, feeding on demand, and answering your baby's cries. Other parts of Attachment Parenting include co-sleeping, nursing on demand, sling or other baby carrier wearing, and cloth diapering. Not all Attachment Parents practice all of the above, but never the less love the idea of Attachment Parenting and comforting their children.

Attachment parenting uses mild discipline methods and avoids all physical or emotional punishment, such as inflicting shame on a child for inappropriate behavior. Children are encouraged and allowed to sleep with their parents, and you treat your bed as the family bed. Meeting your child's needs according to the child's time frame during the early years of development is an essential part of attachment parenting. Children will be allowed to grow and learn at their own pace and not according to standard time frames."

What do you all think of attachment parenting?

I don't see attachment parenting as something a WOH parent could do, or could they? What do u think?

I am also curious to see if SAHPs vs/ WOHPs will have different opionions on this topic.

If anyone here practices attachment parenting - was your decision to do so closely linked with your decision to be a SAHP?

josee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 10:32am
Anything a society will pay people to not do is something they consider bad. Canada and others pay moms not to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 10:34am

Yes, but they may not be considering differences in societies. Attitudes can make a difference in what is found. We base our behaviors on our beliefs and beliefs can become self fullfilling prophecies.

I find it odd that a lot of the negative results seen from having a WM come from countries that have declared being a WM so bad that society will pay women not to do it. Society paying women not to work is a very strong statement of belief in the evils of having a WM. Society doesn't pay people not to do something unless they believe there will a negative imact from doing it. Surprise, surprise, believe something is bad, run a study and find results that support common belief. Our attitudes about things make a difference. A society that will pay women not to work once they have kids has a strong attitude about WM's. That will translate into how they treat and view WM's and how WM's feel about themselves.




Edited 8/26/2006 10:42 am ET by kbmammm
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 10:41am

"I grew up in a housing project."

I grew up in a housing project too. Not all of them are bad. Is that what you are claiming?

"I don't need the field trip. Obviously you do. You were the one who claimed that the majority of mothers in those neighborhoods were drug users."

I guess I've been on a field trip for the past 8 years, LOL. Yes, the majority of mothers that I've seen are on some type of drug.

"I won't even comment on your assumption that a majority of poor mothers of color are drug users (since the only neighborhoods you mentioned are black and Hispanic)."

No need to paint me as a racist. I'm married to an Hispanic. I've lived and worked among a group of diverse people all of my life. Those are the facts: those neighborhoods that I mentioned are riddled with drugs. If the people there happen to be black or Hispanic, there's nothing I can do about that. That's not to say that white people don't come into those neighborhoods to buy drugs from their more affluent neighborhoods.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 10:44am
Yes, I do. I am a police officer, sorry to say somedays, LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 11:02am

"I grew up in a housing project too. Not all of them are bad. Is that what you are claiming?"

I don't claim to be an expert on all housing projects. The one I grew up in was beyond bad.

"I guess I've been on a field trip for the past 8 years, LOL. Yes, the majority of mothers that I've seen are on some type of drug."

Can you pick a claim and stick to it? First it was a majority of mothers in NYC ghettos are drug users. Wait, not a majority, but many. Wait, it's a majority of the mothers that you've seen (whatever your universe might be). Which one of these claims is the one you're making now?

"No need to paint me as a racist. I'm married to an Hispanic."

Are some of your best friends black?

"I've lived and worked among a group of diverse people all of my life."

And? Do you imagine this makes you unique?

"Those are the facts: those neighborhoods that I mentioned are riddled with drugs. If the people there happen to be black or Hispanic, there's nothing I can do about that. That's not to say that white people don't come into those neighborhoods to buy drugs from their more affluent neighborhoods."

So is Howard Beach. So are many LI suburbs. So are the ranks of privileged Manhattan kids. Do you also think that the majority....no, many....no, a majority of the mothers you know from these predominantly white groups are drug users?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 11:17am

"Anything a society will pay people to not do is something they consider bad. Canada and others pay moms not to work."

Disability insurance pays for people not to work; that doesn't mean the insurance companies consider working bad.

I'm guessing Canada and others (particularly those with universal health coverage) pay for extended family leave time because they believe the benefits of having a parent SAH for a year or two in the long run will outweigh the tax revenue cost from that SAH. As Americans we certainly can't claim to be as healthy as Canada and these other countries, and I believe a huge part of this is because Americans have less leave/vacation time and work more hours (overall). Countries with universal government health care have a vested interest in making sure their worker-bees are well-rested, relaxed, and happy.

These countries also promote breastfeeding, not formula, and apparently they believe that paying for women to stay home increases nursing rates and duration (and lowers medical costs) enough to make extended paid leave worthwhile.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 11:21am

"Anything a society will pay people to not do is something they consider bad. Canada and others pay moms not to work."

Um. No. Some countries provide parental leave for a specified amount of time. Other countries do not. Interestingly, some countries that provide a parental leave have, at the same time, many other policies in place that actively encourage women to return to the workforce, while other socities that provide a minimum or no parental leave have other policies in place that actively discourage women from returning to the workforce.

There is no inherent relationship between providing a certain amount of parental leave and considering it a bad thing that mothers work. Canada, in any case, does not "pay moms not to work". It provides a specified amount of parental leave (offered equally to both men and women, if I recall correctly).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 11:28am

"Yes, I do. I am a police officer, sorry to say somedays, LOL."

Which means you aren't as likely to enter the homes of the "good guys," right? Your perception of the percentage of drug abusers might be a little skewed because that's more likely who you're going to encounter in the course of a day's work, I would think.

By the way, thanks for doing what you do. I imagine you don't hear that often enough. I have tremendous respect for those who are willing to risk their lives to enforce our nation's laws.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 11:34am
I have absolutely no clue what any of this has to do with the way scientific research is done and published, or the international character of such research. You are assuming that research that takes place in one country must be run, funded and influenced by the political policies of that country. A more typical scenario goes something like (for example)...the main researcher is a Russian postdoc supported by an American grant foundation doing the research in a German lab and getting the results published in a Canadian journal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 11:46am
That's not moi...I have about 1/4 of the brain cells that Lois has :)

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