attachment parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
attachment parenting
1781
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 3:17pm

A woman I know (I used to work with her dh) practices "attachment parenting". Here is a definition (for those who don't know what it is):

"Attachment Parenting includes respecting your child's needs, feeding on demand, and answering your baby's cries. Other parts of Attachment Parenting include co-sleeping, nursing on demand, sling or other baby carrier wearing, and cloth diapering. Not all Attachment Parents practice all of the above, but never the less love the idea of Attachment Parenting and comforting their children.

Attachment parenting uses mild discipline methods and avoids all physical or emotional punishment, such as inflicting shame on a child for inappropriate behavior. Children are encouraged and allowed to sleep with their parents, and you treat your bed as the family bed. Meeting your child's needs according to the child's time frame during the early years of development is an essential part of attachment parenting. Children will be allowed to grow and learn at their own pace and not according to standard time frames."

What do you all think of attachment parenting?

I don't see attachment parenting as something a WOH parent could do, or could they? What do u think?

I am also curious to see if SAHPs vs/ WOHPs will have different opionions on this topic.

If anyone here practices attachment parenting - was your decision to do so closely linked with your decision to be a SAHP?

josee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 10:55am
You missed her point.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 10:57am

<Where are you in relation to your child, anyway? Mine were never left in a room by themselves until they were at least mobile (and mine weren't mobile in the young infant stage). I have trouble imagining how you can be so far away from the baby that you can't tell they are hungry until they have to work themselves into a crying fit for food. >


I understand that you practice AP Parenting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 10:58am

Mine were often put into the family room while I was in the kitchen.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 10:59am
No I got her point. However I still don't want my children to ever associate eating with comfort.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 11:04am
The point is that you don't really wean them as older kids. They wean themselves, when they are ready. It's usually a gradual thing, very gentle. I don't remember the last time I nursed either kid. I am certain they don't, either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 11:06am
Its real hard to believe your kids never had the hungry cry when you never allowed them to have more than <> sippy cup of breastmilk during an entire day. - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pssahwoh/?msg=17029.212 - My kids could never have made it that long. They would have been beyond a hungry cry. They would have been at fit-level. But I guess you didn't hear the hungry cries because you were at work?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 11:07am

My ods was very colicky from about 8 weeks until 4 months. Like I said, I've heard plenty of crying.

And sure I've been out of their sights, but someone else was there (eitehr dh or my best friend, usually).

It's been several years, but I'm trying to remember a diaper cry. usually, as infants, they would poop every time they nursed, and I'd change that diaper as soon as they were finished eating. After 6 or 8 months, when they added solids, it was pretty obvious as soon as there was a dirty diaper, and no one had to cry about it. You could just smell it, or see from their red grunting faces what was happening, and know that it was diaper changing time.

If I was home alone with one as an infant, I pretty much didn't leave them in a room alone. Maybe a specific example will pop into my head later today, but for now, I'm not thinking of a time like that. I've used the bathroom while nursing a baby. I've gotten dressed while holding a baby. I pretty much thought this was universal. When napping, I'd leave them on my bed sometimes, but they suually didn't wake up from nap crying in hunger, as they would nurse to sleep in the first place.

Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 11:07am

If my 7 yo wanted to nurse, no, that wouldn't be okay, because she hasn't nursed for years. But if a 7 yo was still nursing, it wouldn't likely be more than a couple of times a week, and if the mother and the child are both okay with that, I wouldn't judge them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 11:10am
Many do. The first time I saw toddler nursing was in the 1970s in Japan. I used to see little children in school uniforms -- ages three and up, who would be met by their mothers at the end of the school day and they'd all ride the train together back home. Many of the mother-child pairs would nurse on the way back -- just a ten-fifteen minute reconnection ritual. Nobody batted an eye. I tried not to, though I was high school age and kind of thought it was gross. Then I got used to it. When my older son weaned, the reconnection nurse was the last one to go. I admit I kind of liked that coming home and sitting down in the rocker together for a quick snuggle and nursing together. It was a calming way to begin the evening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 11:14am
Its way dramatic. She didn't allow thekids to drink breast milk during the day unless it was limited to just ONE cup or with an eyedropper.
Okay my kids would have been screaming for hours. Not just the hungry cry too. Reverse night feeding is one thing. But to make the kids wait all day like that just so you could breasfeed at night. I couldn't in good conscious do that to my kids. I love them.

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