attachment parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
attachment parenting
1781
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 3:17pm

A woman I know (I used to work with her dh) practices "attachment parenting". Here is a definition (for those who don't know what it is):

"Attachment Parenting includes respecting your child's needs, feeding on demand, and answering your baby's cries. Other parts of Attachment Parenting include co-sleeping, nursing on demand, sling or other baby carrier wearing, and cloth diapering. Not all Attachment Parents practice all of the above, but never the less love the idea of Attachment Parenting and comforting their children.

Attachment parenting uses mild discipline methods and avoids all physical or emotional punishment, such as inflicting shame on a child for inappropriate behavior. Children are encouraged and allowed to sleep with their parents, and you treat your bed as the family bed. Meeting your child's needs according to the child's time frame during the early years of development is an essential part of attachment parenting. Children will be allowed to grow and learn at their own pace and not according to standard time frames."

What do you all think of attachment parenting?

I don't see attachment parenting as something a WOH parent could do, or could they? What do u think?

I am also curious to see if SAHPs vs/ WOHPs will have different opionions on this topic.

If anyone here practices attachment parenting - was your decision to do so closely linked with your decision to be a SAHP?

josee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:01pm
my kids have never had a screaming meltdown because they were hungry, they have certainly cried when they were hungry - big difference there imo.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:04pm
Hugs to you and N.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:04pm
You read my disclaimer, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:05pm
i have to agree. there were times i would wake to those sounds and i found that if i just stayed put alot of times the baby would go back to sleep without eating. they werent really hungry they had just woke themselves a bit and after a little bit of rearranging themselves they were right back to sleep for a couple of more hours.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:10pm
At night time, yes, my son would need to cry in order to wake me up to be fed. Like I have said, I did not co-sleep, it was uncomfortable for the both of us. It amazed me how such a tiny little thing could take up 3/4 of a queen sized bed. If I tried to scootch him over so I wasn't hanging off the bed, he would wake up and start fussing (I tried co-sleeping a few times when he was a brand new baby, only because I was terrified of SIDS). I got up each and every time he cried in the middle of the night, because the only times he cried in the middle of the night was when he was hungry or had a bad dream (then of course I would comfort him). But, when your child's room is on the other side of the house, it's a bit difficult to hear schooching and sucking noises...would you agree? It didn't take and outright frantic screaming from him to wake me up, just the irritated, mom, I'm hungry, get your butt in here and feed me cry/whine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:10pm
That's why I said I preferred to feed somewhere between the first stirrings which really might just mean the baby wanted to stretch a bit in his sleep and out and out crying. Particularly as they got to be older babies, when I found it beneficial to try to break the association between waking up at night (which we all do) and nursing. There were times when I tried to stretch out the time between feedings as they got to be five, six months and older. Most of the time it worked. The times it didn't, the times they were genuinely hungry, nothing but nursing would satisfy them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:14pm
if my kids are upset about something i dont want them to look to food to find comfort- talk about a recipe for obesity. sharing meals are wonderful things but using food as a tool to ease distress or to block out an uncomfortable situation i really dont want my kids to start that.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:16pm
Montessori is academic, not parenting. How my speaking of Montessori would effect my speaking of parenting is beyond me. Montessori is actually teaching a child to be more independent is their younger years. Teaching a 1-2 year old how to eat using a spoon, transfering objects, teaching 2-3 year old their colors and their shapes, their animals and animal sounds, yet still teaching them basic life lesson skills, teacing 4-5 year olds how to add, subtract, spell, prepare them for kindergarten. How in the world does montessori, which is academic, compare to parenting?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:18pm
But nursing doesn't do that. In fact, there is a particular comnfort suckle that doesn't really draw much if any milk at all, it just provides the comfort of sucking at a warm, loving, calming place that just so happens to also release hormones that relax.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:19pm
Montessori is a philosophical approach to children that goes well beyond the academic.

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