attachment parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
attachment parenting
1781
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 3:17pm

A woman I know (I used to work with her dh) practices "attachment parenting". Here is a definition (for those who don't know what it is):

"Attachment Parenting includes respecting your child's needs, feeding on demand, and answering your baby's cries. Other parts of Attachment Parenting include co-sleeping, nursing on demand, sling or other baby carrier wearing, and cloth diapering. Not all Attachment Parents practice all of the above, but never the less love the idea of Attachment Parenting and comforting their children.

Attachment parenting uses mild discipline methods and avoids all physical or emotional punishment, such as inflicting shame on a child for inappropriate behavior. Children are encouraged and allowed to sleep with their parents, and you treat your bed as the family bed. Meeting your child's needs according to the child's time frame during the early years of development is an essential part of attachment parenting. Children will be allowed to grow and learn at their own pace and not according to standard time frames."

What do you all think of attachment parenting?

I don't see attachment parenting as something a WOH parent could do, or could they? What do u think?

I am also curious to see if SAHPs vs/ WOHPs will have different opionions on this topic.

If anyone here practices attachment parenting - was your decision to do so closely linked with your decision to be a SAHP?

josee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:04pm
And all I am saying is that the enjoyment of food together is part of what makes our special times special.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:04pm

I have not previously said that having a child cry before they eat is wrong. I said *I* haven't experienced it. I was not judging you, just responding to you and your insistence that my experiences are not what I say they are.

But I will say this now, based on your most recent post where you said: "I have not once said that something you do is wrong, yet you continue to state that letting a child get to they crying stage before being fed is wrong, when I see nothing wrong with it."

I see something very wrong with making a child cry before he is fed, *when you can otherwise tell the child is hungry.* That insistence that they cry first just seems mean spirited to me. You say you see nothing wrong with it. I completely disagree. It is cruel.

In all the previous posts, it appeared that your child cried out of hunger becasue you didn't know the baby was hungry before they cried. But if you know the baby is hungry and still don't feed him, that's just wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:06pm

So are you saying that your menu was what was important or was it the time you spent together?

I can honestly say that whether we are having a sandwich or steaks the food is irrelevent to me. As long as we get a few minutes as a family together. For that matter we don't even have to have food present. We could have a gameboard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:07pm

I understand people can turn you off to bf'ng. I had problems with the first LC I used.

But, do you really think bm is the same as formula? The "experts" like AAP and WHO all recommend bf'ng for at least 1 year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:07pm
What is up with you and Oprah? I don't watch stuff like that. Very rarely do i watch television. I certainly wouldn't waste an hour of my life listening to Oprah talk about the danger of breastfeeding as a comfort tool. How is she qualified to even talk about that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:07pm
That's what I was saying in my posts. It teached children more indpendence,like skills. Transfering with different object, learning to pour, always, always learning something new. I can see how parents would use Montessori techniques when parenting, but Montessori IS academic. You are certainly correct in your statement of "fostering early competence in basic life skills," I believe you just put it better than I did. For example, in a 2 1/2- 3 1/2 classroom, you would have a basket with a bowl of beads in it, an emoty bowl, along with some tweezers, the child would use the tweezers to tranfer the beads from one bowl to the next, they'd have baskets with spoons and other tranfering objects. The older they got, the smaller the transferring items got. Those are teaching basic life skills.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:09pm
I am saying that the time we spend together is enhanced by having carefully and thoughtfully and lovingly prepared food together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:11pm

I'm curious. What is the basic life skill associated with transferring beads with tweezers?

I can see how how it would be developmentally approriate, fun, etc., but I'm missing the basic life skill part.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:13pm

Can you take things in the context they were written? Why the extremes? I am not really sure why you aren't following other than the fact that what I am saying is proving my point well.

I don't watch Oprah either. She is no favorite of mine. However I have seen her discuss her issues with food, and how she uses food to comfort herself. Bad bad cycle. It happens to people all the time. Now I will ask you to please show me where I said Oprah knew one thing about BFing, or how it is used to comfort a baby. We just see things differently. I don't want my children to think that food is comforting. I want my children to know that food is to eat. Hugs, and cuddling are for comfort. When they were babies I did hug and cuddle them while they were nursing. However when they cried I didn't just nurse them. Sometimes they just want to be held. Just like now. I don't give my 4 yr old a snack because she is sad. I sit with her and cuddle her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:13pm
Gee, get a clue, will you? It prepares children to work in necklace factories. Even I got that.

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