attachment parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
attachment parenting
1781
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 3:17pm

A woman I know (I used to work with her dh) practices "attachment parenting". Here is a definition (for those who don't know what it is):

"Attachment Parenting includes respecting your child's needs, feeding on demand, and answering your baby's cries. Other parts of Attachment Parenting include co-sleeping, nursing on demand, sling or other baby carrier wearing, and cloth diapering. Not all Attachment Parents practice all of the above, but never the less love the idea of Attachment Parenting and comforting their children.

Attachment parenting uses mild discipline methods and avoids all physical or emotional punishment, such as inflicting shame on a child for inappropriate behavior. Children are encouraged and allowed to sleep with their parents, and you treat your bed as the family bed. Meeting your child's needs according to the child's time frame during the early years of development is an essential part of attachment parenting. Children will be allowed to grow and learn at their own pace and not according to standard time frames."

What do you all think of attachment parenting?

I don't see attachment parenting as something a WOH parent could do, or could they? What do u think?

I am also curious to see if SAHPs vs/ WOHPs will have different opionions on this topic.

If anyone here practices attachment parenting - was your decision to do so closely linked with your decision to be a SAHP?

josee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:21pm
I can see that, I guess. However, all of the LC's I have known (form my own births and from LLL) have felt that women owe it to their babies to at least try BF. Even if it doesnt work out, at least the baby may have gotten some of the colostrum and will be ahead of the game. Sometimes, even a person who never dreamed they'd BF continues once they have tried. If you never even try, you never know if it will work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:27pm
It is important for comfort too. Beloved food from childhood has nostalgic associations for many people. It has symbolic associations. Food can bring back pleasant memories. Familiar food comforts people in unfamiliar places. Fantasizing about specific beloved food comforts people who are fearful as well as hungry. And then eating that specific food once they are rescued brings great comfort (I'm thinking of accounts of people lost for a long time. Survivors of being dangerously lost always seem to have an account of how they comforted themselves fantasizing about a beloved food and then it's the first thing they ask for when rescued.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:28pm
Dinners etc ritually is good as we do that but comforting a child out of food isn't good as it teaches them when they are upset etc that food is a good comfort to them. I am talking about why some people chose to bf a 4 yr old. They say its for the comfort...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:30pm
I think you are taking this to the extreme. Like I stated before, I want my children to know that food isn't about comfort. That it is about nutrition not about comfort. I want them to know to reach out to friends or family for comfort and food for nourishment. Do I think food comforts a child? Sure, and it should...a HUNGRY child. Do I think food should comfort a scared child? No I don't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:31pm
In another post its not sitting down and eating with a family. You have to have dinner etc. Breakfast is an important part of life. I am talking about comforting them with food IE: breastfeeding a 4 yr old cause it comforts him/her. There are other ways to comfort a 4 yr old than b/f. Are u telling me that giving him your breast at that age to calm him isn't telling him that food will solve all your problems... I don't know I am asking...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:31pm
I think we established that a long time ago.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:31pm

ITA. We love to go to Sunday breakfast as a family after church. We love to gather with family and have meals together. We laugh and talk.

However, comfort eating can be dangerous. I used to be a comfort eater and gained weight. Eating out of depression is not a good thing.

I want my kids to see the time spent together as comforting, not the actual food. If that makes any sense..lol!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:32pm
Are you reading the posts about comfort nursing vs nursing for hunger? They are different. I can remember times when my older one would ask to nurse and what he really meant was, "Will you hold me in the rocking chair for awhile because I am feeling scared/sad/lonesome?" Sometimes he didn't even latch on. There's a reason that "nursing" and "nurturing" share a common root.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:33pm
I really don't care... Maybe that person was trying to make it look like she was using the same name but adding a bit extra characters it just looked a little fishy. I am just stating that it is easy to change a profile if that is the basis as to why it isn't her. I have never met Momwriter or chatted with her so I have no way to compare the two so I really don't know. I was just stating as to why everyone is thinking she is momwriter because of the post. I know its two user names but they are similar so ppl would get confused....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:34pm

No, but I think you are confusing the issue. Nothing comforting about Thanksgiving dinner. What is comforting is my family all being together. If my family decided that Thanksgiving should be Hot dogs and potato chips so be it. Who really cares what is on the table as long as the family is having a good time and spending time together?

Let me put it to you how you put it to me. How would you feel if you had a huge Thanksgiving dinner and all the trimmings, and no one in your family was there? How much comfort are you having there?

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