attachment parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
attachment parenting
1781
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 3:17pm

A woman I know (I used to work with her dh) practices "attachment parenting". Here is a definition (for those who don't know what it is):

"Attachment Parenting includes respecting your child's needs, feeding on demand, and answering your baby's cries. Other parts of Attachment Parenting include co-sleeping, nursing on demand, sling or other baby carrier wearing, and cloth diapering. Not all Attachment Parents practice all of the above, but never the less love the idea of Attachment Parenting and comforting their children.

Attachment parenting uses mild discipline methods and avoids all physical or emotional punishment, such as inflicting shame on a child for inappropriate behavior. Children are encouraged and allowed to sleep with their parents, and you treat your bed as the family bed. Meeting your child's needs according to the child's time frame during the early years of development is an essential part of attachment parenting. Children will be allowed to grow and learn at their own pace and not according to standard time frames."

What do you all think of attachment parenting?

I don't see attachment parenting as something a WOH parent could do, or could they? What do u think?

I am also curious to see if SAHPs vs/ WOHPs will have different opionions on this topic.

If anyone here practices attachment parenting - was your decision to do so closely linked with your decision to be a SAHP?

josee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:35pm
Serve a huge meal and no one shows up. See how much comfort that brings you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:36pm
Here we go again. Oprah finds great comfort in food. Ever see her when she is really depressed?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:38pm
Another false dichotomy. No one is saying that the food is more important than the people, or that the food should replace the people. People are saying that on certain occasions, having special, traditional foods enhances the occasion for them, their family, and their friends. I don't know what's hard about that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:41pm

This is a true story.

My dh's family immigrated to the US when he was 9. Their first Thanksgiving, they didn't eat turkey or do anything special. When dh went back to school after the break, all the kids were talking about what gramma cooked, who made the turkey, who made the pie, how many relatives were there, what was good and bad, etc. Dh was completely culturally isolated from those conversations, as his family hadn't done or eaten anything special. By missing the food, they had missed the ability to culturally identify and integrate and experience the holiday.

He went home and told his mom that by the next year, she had to learn how to make a turkey, stuffing, etc., as he and his siblings didn't want to miss a holiday again. The food was important to celebrating the holiday. The lack of that common identifying food made them feel outcast and not a part of their new environment.

another true story:

Before dh's grandfather passed away, he suffered from Alzheimer's for years. Yet, there was one particular dish that we he smelled it, it brought him back for a while, because the food so closely identified with his family. He would seem to come a bit alive, talk, and remember people and instances when he had that one food in front of him. Not always, but often. The food was more than physical nourishment. It meant something much deeper to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:42pm
Oprah and folks like her tend to find comfort in food to fill up something inside themselves that's empty for some reason. Maybe if she'd had a chance to get those needs met in childhood, she wouldn't have such big empty places inside her. No one is suggesting that food should be used to cure depression, or a broken ankle, or a busted pipe or an empty gas tank.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:42pm

The "experts" like AAP and WHO all recommend bf'ng for at least 1 year.


Sure nothing is better than breastmilk but formula is also good for them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:46pm
Well of course certain foods at certain times are tradition. However my dad used to make this nice buffet spread before we celebrated Christmas Eve at my grandmothers house. No one really ate much. They were too busy chatting and socializing. He one time added a pizza to the buffet for the children, and it was GONE. He learned that the family would rather enjoy a quick bite and social together rather than sit and eat. Now on Christmas Eve we eat pizza! When DH and I got married, we chose to have heavy appetizers instead of a big sit down dinner. We wanted everyone to walk around and socialize and spend time together. It was a great party and the buffet appetizers were a huge hit! I guess it just depends on the family. Some families view mealtimes very important. Some don't. I do enjoy having dinner and we all sit around the table. However it isn't something that we do very often. Everyone has crazy schedules around here. So we enjoy taking a walk together or playing a game. Mealtimes are great, but not a big deal in our family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:51pm
Sad that your DH felt isolated from that. Sad that all he focused on was the food that was cooked for Thanksgiving. I must say that when we discuss Thanksgivings around here I talk about how we still as a LARGE extended family, yep all 33 of us pile into my grandmothers home, and we say what we are thankful for one by one. My grandmother is going to be 90 years old this October. She still lives alone, and she still drives. She is amazing. Yet we just returned from a vacation visiting my DH family. His grandmother is 6 months younger than mine and she is in a wheelchair, and we have to help her eat. I can tell you when I discuss my Thanksgiving with anyone it will be about how blessed I am to still have my grandmother, not about what she cooked.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:52pm
Or maybe if she had been taught that food shouldn't be used as a tool to comfort herself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:55pm
again honestly don't know as I never met either of the two u speak of but maybe she pissed to many ppl off with those names and wants a fresh start. I don't CARE!!!! Maybe admit it was her cause she was sick and tired of trying to fight the fact it wasn't her all the time. Again DON'T REALLY CARE!!!!

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