attachment parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
attachment parenting
1781
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 3:17pm

A woman I know (I used to work with her dh) practices "attachment parenting". Here is a definition (for those who don't know what it is):

"Attachment Parenting includes respecting your child's needs, feeding on demand, and answering your baby's cries. Other parts of Attachment Parenting include co-sleeping, nursing on demand, sling or other baby carrier wearing, and cloth diapering. Not all Attachment Parents practice all of the above, but never the less love the idea of Attachment Parenting and comforting their children.

Attachment parenting uses mild discipline methods and avoids all physical or emotional punishment, such as inflicting shame on a child for inappropriate behavior. Children are encouraged and allowed to sleep with their parents, and you treat your bed as the family bed. Meeting your child's needs according to the child's time frame during the early years of development is an essential part of attachment parenting. Children will be allowed to grow and learn at their own pace and not according to standard time frames."

What do you all think of attachment parenting?

I don't see attachment parenting as something a WOH parent could do, or could they? What do u think?

I am also curious to see if SAHPs vs/ WOHPs will have different opionions on this topic.

If anyone here practices attachment parenting - was your decision to do so closely linked with your decision to be a SAHP?

josee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 4:25pm

Sure, he was completely isolated from the coversations about Thansgiving dinner, because his family hadn't done that. he didn't even know what that was.

That does not mean that *only* food is important to people, or that we find food more important than people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 4:27pm
Your analogy would only work if I'd said the people were unimportant, just the food. But I didn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 4:29pm

I did BF both boys.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 4:31pm
I never said that the family was unimportant, so your analogy of "what if you had a meal but no one came" doesn't work. The point I'm disputing is that the type of food is irrelevent. It is very important t lots of people. Not to your family, obviously. Given the diversity of humanit there are bound to be some people who have no nostalgic associations with certain foods. But lots of Americans do actually have a nostalgic association between specific foods (maybe turkey, maybe something else) and Thanksgiving. Suddenly deciding to serve hot dogs and chips would seem like a betrayal unless there was an emergency that interefered with normal meal prep.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 4:34pm
It isn't sad that he focused on the food. He realized, as so many people do, that specific food has specific meaning and he wanted to be part of that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 4:41pm
If he was in a school system where everybody else celebrated Thanksgiving (not that hard to find) it would be "all". Thanksgiving is an iconic American holiday and a fair number of immigrants will adopt it when they learn about it. Unlike Christmas and Easter dinner it has no religious connotations so people of any religion can participate. I don't find it odd that ALL his classmates had a big Thanksgiving dinner to talk about even if he was not the only immigrant (which he may or may not have been).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 4:49pm

No. I don't think that breasfeeding at that age is telling him that at all. Your core assumption which I believe is incorrect is that the toddler really sees nursing as eating. Although I have no research to back this up but only handfuls of anecdotes, I think unweaned toddlers see nursing and eating as entirely different and unrelated activities (unlike babies who necessarily see them as the same). My anecdotal evidence is from women who related that their toddlers don't nurse when hungry but just eat food and only nurse for comfort. So they've broken the nursing/eating connection that was there as babies and nursing is only for comfort.

Extended breastfeeding could only cause toddlers to equate food with comfort (in an unhealthy, Oprah-ish way, not a holiday meal way) if they equated nursing with eating. And anecdotal evidence says that they don't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 5:06pm
Toddlers who nurse for comfort aren't doing it for the "food" aspect. They're doing it for comfort and one of the comforts is sucking. I conclude this from people I know IRL who told me that their toddlers just ate food when hungry and didn't try to get food when upset. In other words, they saw a connection between nursing and comfort but NOT a connection between nursing and eating. That connection was dropped as left babyhood. So they would be in no danger of stress overeating because of extended breastfeeding because breastmilk had ceased being "food" long before they weaned.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 5:16pm
i disagree. i dont think my friends would care one bit what was being served, but i could certainly be wrong - perhaps i will have to try it and see.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 5:19pm
once again i have to disagree. we had kfc one year for christmas because no one wanted to cook, and that christmas was just as wonderful as all the rest.
Jennie

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