attachment parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
attachment parenting
1781
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 3:17pm

A woman I know (I used to work with her dh) practices "attachment parenting". Here is a definition (for those who don't know what it is):

"Attachment Parenting includes respecting your child's needs, feeding on demand, and answering your baby's cries. Other parts of Attachment Parenting include co-sleeping, nursing on demand, sling or other baby carrier wearing, and cloth diapering. Not all Attachment Parents practice all of the above, but never the less love the idea of Attachment Parenting and comforting their children.

Attachment parenting uses mild discipline methods and avoids all physical or emotional punishment, such as inflicting shame on a child for inappropriate behavior. Children are encouraged and allowed to sleep with their parents, and you treat your bed as the family bed. Meeting your child's needs according to the child's time frame during the early years of development is an essential part of attachment parenting. Children will be allowed to grow and learn at their own pace and not according to standard time frames."

What do you all think of attachment parenting?

I don't see attachment parenting as something a WOH parent could do, or could they? What do u think?

I am also curious to see if SAHPs vs/ WOHPs will have different opionions on this topic.

If anyone here practices attachment parenting - was your decision to do so closely linked with your decision to be a SAHP?

josee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 3:49pm

"I could never have exclusively breastfed because I would have come to resent being tied to my child around the clock. How does one exactly resolve such a bedrock personality issue?"

My sister, against all current advice to the contrary, placed her DS on a strict breastfeeding schedule, every three hours when he was young, then 3 1/2 hours, then 4 hours once he started solids. Fortunately she had the supply and capacity to make this work (for her). He was also sleeping through the night by 4 months old (10-6)--she night-weaned him (I suspect using CIO) and she bf him until 15 months. His nursing was all business: 12 minutes for a "full feeding" by 2 months old. He was also in the 85th percentile for weight, so she felt she didn't have to worry about him being hungry.

While I'm not crazy about her methods, as I love the long, leisurely nursing sessions before DS's nap or bedtime (they force me to relax for 20 minutes or so), the breastmilk still was better than formula. She's a very regimented, stubborn person, and AP is definitely not for her, but bf was.

So while most of bf moms probably tend to lean toward AP, many succeed at bf without "being tied down around the clock."

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 3:50pm
Well feeding and caring for a baby can be shared by many individuals. However nursing a baby can't be.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 3:52pm

Food shouldn't be used as a comfort. It should be used to eat when someone is hungry. Not when one person is depressed or used as a tool to console oneself."

Wow you are a bit confused here. Food can be comforting without being used as a "tool to console oneself." How am I using food to "console myself" when I'm feeding my children comfort food? I'm not. And they arent using it as "a tool" either. They are human beings enjoying a basic and wonderful comfort.

And I'll tell 'ya what. No one on either side of my family (husbands or mine) is anywhere close to overweight. Healthy eating is important. And eating just to feed a hunger is simplistic. We arent hampsters.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 3:53pm
Well, I had about a gaillion people, friends, relatives, acquaintances, relative strangers, who had very strong opinions about everything I chose in relation to my babies -- from where and how to birth 'em, to how to feed 'em, to when to wean 'em. Some were polite and some were intrusive. A whole lotta people have a whole lotta trouble minding their own business. None of them made me feel guilty. Some made me feel annoyed, and quite a few made me feel amused. I often find people making horse's patooties out of themselves quite funny!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 3:53pm
Good no one in your family is overweight. Mine either. So I guess our approaches to our own individual families is working very well eh?
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 3:55pm

Well considering that Oprah is a total workaholic and has million dollar trainers I guess your theory is a little off."

What are you talking about? Watching TV makes you (people in general) fat. It helps lead to bad habits (eg. sitting on ones arse watching tv vs. moving). Oprah *doesnt* sit on her arse all day watching TV. She's working and working out. How does that help you?

" My philosophy of food must be just fine."

How so? Because Oprah is a workaholic? LOL.

" I guess you do so well frolicking through all those farmers markets."

Love them on Saturday mornings. But we have much of our organic veggies delivered to us weekly from a local farm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 3:59pm

<<>>

I guess I should ask you the same question? When I said ask Oprah I was speaking about OPRAH's weight issues. I don't have any weight issues. Maybe you should go back and reread what I wrote before you take off on the extreme that one sits and watches television all day.

<<>>

You aren't making any sense at all.

<<>>

Great. I grab mine at the grocery store. Just easier.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 4:01pm
The feeling of being full is very comforting to an infant. They were comforted by being fed when they were hungry. They associated being fed with being comforted. To an infant or small child, it's the whole package -- being picked up and held, being soothed, and being offered warm milk from the breast. As they get older, the milk is less important that the comfort, and they learn both other ways of being comforted and other ways of eating. See the many, many posts on this thread about how nursing toddlers differentiate between comfort nursing (which is more about the cuddling and the sucking) and nursing for nutrition.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 4:12pm
When we introduced the bottle (at 5 weeks), and I was then able to go for my long (8 mile/ 2.5 hour) walks with my friends again (where dh would give a bottle while I was gone), I was SOOO much happier.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 4:14pm

I'm not sure I really know what AP is.

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