attachment parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
attachment parenting
1781
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 3:17pm

A woman I know (I used to work with her dh) practices "attachment parenting". Here is a definition (for those who don't know what it is):

"Attachment Parenting includes respecting your child's needs, feeding on demand, and answering your baby's cries. Other parts of Attachment Parenting include co-sleeping, nursing on demand, sling or other baby carrier wearing, and cloth diapering. Not all Attachment Parents practice all of the above, but never the less love the idea of Attachment Parenting and comforting their children.

Attachment parenting uses mild discipline methods and avoids all physical or emotional punishment, such as inflicting shame on a child for inappropriate behavior. Children are encouraged and allowed to sleep with their parents, and you treat your bed as the family bed. Meeting your child's needs according to the child's time frame during the early years of development is an essential part of attachment parenting. Children will be allowed to grow and learn at their own pace and not according to standard time frames."

What do you all think of attachment parenting?

I don't see attachment parenting as something a WOH parent could do, or could they? What do u think?

I am also curious to see if SAHPs vs/ WOHPs will have different opionions on this topic.

If anyone here practices attachment parenting - was your decision to do so closely linked with your decision to be a SAHP?

josee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 9:30pm
Are you suggesting that because you choose not to comfort nurse, that it's medically proven benfits don't exist?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 10:05pm
Medical evidence? You posted a link to an article written by a medical professional. That is her opinion. Like I stated before I certainly wouldn't give a baby a bottle to get them to stop crying when they weren't hungry, nor would I give my 4 yr old an apple to get them to stop crying that wasn't related to hunger. Would you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 10:17pm
It interesting, isn't it, that it seems when you come from a family that has always breastfed, you are more likely to do it, than those like me whose family has never done it? Seems it's hard to break away from what you have always known, regardless of being educated on it, and knowing the benefits. I wonder if it's because I see all too well that no one in my family has suffered detrimental effects from not being breastfed? If I know that I was hardly ever sick, and that still holds true today, and I know that my relationship with my mom, as is my mom and my sister's, and my cousin's and their moms', are some of the best parent/child relationships I could ever imagine, and always have been? It's just something to ponder. Is it because I see on a daily first hand basis that formula feeding was just fine for me that I chose not to breasfeed?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 10:24pm
My mother was from the generation that doctors ENCOURAGED not to breastfeed. They told women then that formula was better. So my mom FF both my brother and I. I didn't FF either of my children. I do believe that breastfeeding is a great thing to do for your children, however I was very mottivated to nurse when I saw how expensive formula was.
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 12:29am

Just getting a moment to get back to this; sorry for the late response.

We had a rail on one side of the bed, pillows on the other. You're totally right though - the video cam in the room totally feeds my habit of being paranoid ;)

I once convinced my DH to put the display on our picture in picture on the TV ;) Now that's sick!

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-1999
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 12:44am

"Nursing a baby to calm them down is no different than me giving my 4 yr old an apple to get her to stop crying."


There is a huge difference in nursing for comfort and handing over food if they are upset. Nursing is not just about food, it is about food AND comfort. For a breastfed child it is a way to reconnect. When I went back to work when my daughter was 16 months old, the first thing she wanted to do was to breastfeed when she saw me as I came home at the end of the

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-1999
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 12:45am
Why is this ridiculous?
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Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 12:51am

My DS likes to BF for a minute or two at night time to get to sleep. We wanted to do complete child-led weaning, but I'll admit that since he's 2.5 and the next one is 11 weeks away, it's become massively uncomfortable for me and I've been encouraging his weaning.

It's a connection thing, I think. Can he sleep w/out it? Sure - he does every day at school. However at night, if he's able to nurse for a few minutes, he's out in about 10 minutes. If not, it takes him at least 1/2 hour to fall asleep.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 1:16am

You never calmed your child through nursing? One of my most graphic memories with DS is when he had a surgery last year - and when he came out of the anesthesia (prob. sp, I'm too lazy to correct it right now) they warned me he would be confused, agitated, and they were thinking of tying him down unless we could hold him firmly. Well, when he came out, I held him firmly, then offered him nursing. Within a minute, he was calm. The nurses were impressed but not at all surprised.

It wasn't about the food - it was about the comfort.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 2:02am

Because their "scared toddler" was in a closet with his family, seeking shelter from a tornado and they were all in mortal fear of their LIVES! He was terrified to the point that he lost all bladder control, for heaven's sake! His panic was at a primal level; the comfort of breastfeeding addresses fears at that same level.

As God says in Scripture, when discussing the return and comfort of the Israelites when their exile is complete:

10 "Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her,
all you who love her;
rejoice greatly with her,
all you who mourn over her.

11 For you will nurse and be satisfied
at her comforting breasts;
you will drink deeply
and delight in her overflowing abundance."

12 For this is what the LORD says:
"I will extend peace to her like a river,
and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream;
you will nurse and be carried on her arm
and dandled on her knees.

As I said previously, if nursing for comfort is approved of by God himself, I'm cool with it.

Obviously, for those who aren't Christian or Jewish, this may not apply. I referenced it because it's one of the reasons why *I* believe as I do.

Addition: The above Scriptures are from Isaiah 66.




Edited 8/19/2006 2:05 am ET by cdmamnyell

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