"Baby Blues" yesterday

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
"Baby Blues" yesterday
25
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 9:49am
I was slightly insulted by this comic yesterday. Two moms at the playground. One asking the other if she works OH, WAH, SAH, etc. The mom being questioned said,"I like to think of myself as on a 25-year maternity leave."

I think this is insulting because the SAHM defines her role only in reference to the work force and what she's NOT doing. What do you think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 10:03am
I think comics HAVE to be insulting. After all, if they don't have someone to insult or make fun of, how would they get laughs? :( I mean, truthfully, if you really listen to any comedian, they are all picking at something that someone does or says or is or whatever. This is why I don't listen to comedians...I HATE this type of "humor". I have just never "gotten" why it is so funny to laugh at people. But then, I am a very sensitive person who was picked on relentlessly by my own parents and siblings BECAUSE it hurt my feelings so much, therefore it was "funnier" to pick on me than one of the others in the family. So I may tend to take more offense on anothers behalf.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 10:06am
CYE.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 10:40am
:( I didn't get anything!!!! did I post the address right? okmrsmommy@sbcglobal.net

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 10:44am
Well.. it would be insulting if it wasn't a joke.. but since it was someone trying to be funny.. and it is kinda funny.. I wouldn't find it insulting at all. If someone accused me of taking a 25 year maternity leave *seriously* it would be insulting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 12:55pm
Well she is the mother of 3 kids and definiately a BTDT mom. I usually like this comic very much. I wasn't offended by it--I didn't find it all that funny as some of the past ones I have liked. If I was going to think a bit deeply about it, I would say she probably has been in the debate before and the conclusion she drew was from exasperation from being told she is a princess or not holding up society of whatever.

Vickie

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 1:36pm
I guess I don't understand where the insult is. Just from this board alone, I have seen overwhelming support for the idea that the SAHM is not viewed as someone who is worthy of a whole lot or valued. The SAHM in a lot of cases is not financially contributing to her family.. resulting in not only discrepancies in other women's paychecks, but also, is overworking everyone else for her own personal benefit. The SAHM is unworthy of assistance from the state, charity, and her husband's help with housework duties. The SAHM is doing a disservice to her children from keeping them away from child care, where, most children can fare better than mom's unexperience and non-expertise. The SAHM takes valuable parenting time away from fathers, thus creating societal problems. The SAHM is only cheating herself and her children out of their own financial stability in the future, loses valuable work experience that cannot be replaced. The SAHM is so absorbed into her children's lives that she no longer has a self-esteem, which is a very bad role model for her own children. The SAHM is wasting her opportunity for little time. The SAHM spends her life as a houseslave and does little actual *quality* parenting. The SAHM has no effect on her children's life... Basically, for every heartfelt post about a mother SAH that I have read here, is another mother to tear it to shreds. Of course, there are several people who don't. But the few that do only prove to me that SAHMs are not valued by this society as a whole. And of course it goes all the way around to the other side. (and of course, without that, there would be no debate. LOL)


I find this cartoon right on. I would love to think that any woman's choice would be respected in regards to raising her own children, but we question it everyday here. (Myself included.) But it is what it is. No matter what we do as mothers, we will be the first to get the blame for a lot of problems that we in fact have little control over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 2:46pm
I guess because I hope every mother, WOH, WAH or SAH, would value her own choice, regardless of how society views that choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 4:57pm
My read on it was completely different from yours.

The way I read it, the other person was pushing her to have some kind of label. She did not want to label herself so she got a bit sarcastic.

The person asking the question was the one that wanted he to label her by her work status.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 10:46pm
I read it the same way. But, it makes me think about why when people first meet each other, they ask *what do you do*?

IMO, it is an attempt to find common ground.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 11:46pm
But what is being devalued?

Aside from that, isn't a common theme of this board the idea that a woman can always return to WOH after he child-care years are past? Isn't saying you're taking a 25-year maternity leave simply another way of expressing that idea? Why is saying you would return to the paying workforce after your kids are grown devaluing what you're doing at the moment?

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