Back to work... feeling like a bad mom
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|Thu, 10-15-2009 - 12:28am|
I stayed at home with my son for most of the first year after his birth... I took up a couple of part time seasonal things but that was it. My husband has a very high stress, long hours (and high income) career, the choice to go back to work is mine alone. Although, I do all of the childcare and chores, I feel so bored and useless being a housewife. So, when a family friend offered me a job where I would be working approximately 30 hours per week, I jumped.
The bad news, 2 weeks ago I went back to work and low and behold another employee quit and I am doing 40 hours plus maybe a couple overtime. Since I am working for a very good long time friend, I can't really ditch at the last minute.
The good news, my son has been staying with my mother during the day, who has been depressed since the death of my father about a year ago. Although she complains that caring for him is hard, for the first time she is getting out of the house and going places. She hit the gym for the first time the other day. She is also going to bed at a decent time, since she has to wake up early to care for him.
I'm also battling feelings of guilt. I miss my son so much during the day. I also feel like I am a bad mother! Maybe it's because I know in the back of my mind I don't need the job to support my family, and that it's really just an excuse to get away from him for at least a few hours out of the day?
How do you deal with these feelings?