Back to work... feeling like a bad mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Back to work... feeling like a bad mom
16
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 12:28am

I stayed at home with my son for most of the first year after his birth... I took up a couple of part time seasonal things but that was it. My husband has a very high stress, long hours (and high income) career, the choice to go back to work is mine alone. Although, I do all of the childcare and chores, I feel so bored and useless being a housewife. So, when a family friend offered me a job where I would be working approximately 30 hours per week, I jumped.

The bad news, 2 weeks ago I went back to work and low and behold another employee quit and I am doing 40 hours plus maybe a couple overtime. Since I am working for a very good long time friend, I can't really ditch at the last minute.

The good news, my son has been staying with my mother during the day, who has been depressed since the death of my father about a year ago. Although she complains that caring for him is hard, for the first time she is getting out of the house and going places. She hit the gym for the first time the other day. She is also going to bed at a decent time, since she has to wake up early to care for him.

I'm also battling feelings of guilt. I miss my son so much during the day. I also feel like I am a bad mother! Maybe it's because I know in the back of my mind I don't need the job to support my family, and that it's really just an excuse to get away from him for at least a few hours out of the day?

How do you deal with these feelings?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2009
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 4:22pm
what?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 4:56pm

I think she is talking about Betty Friedan and 'The Feminine Mystique'.

But I could be wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2009
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 6:11pm
oy. I have two copies of that book that's how much I love it - I read that and Marilyn French's "The woman's Room" in College and I think they both changed my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 6:35pm

97% of all mothers feel guilty about something. The other 3% are lying.


Okay, that was really a statistic about, um, something else, but I think it applies here, too, okay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 10:19pm
Thank you, great post. That is just what I needed to read :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 3:36pm

The only thing I'll add is my favorite quote that I actually have taped to my monitor here at work:


"I think every working mom goes through the times when you feel that if you weren't working perhaps you'd be giving them a little more.

2010 Siggy

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