The bait and switch

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
The bait and switch
72
Thu, 03-01-2012 - 8:18am

About a year ago I was at a party and a husband said his wife pulled "the bait and switch". (She was there and nodded.) He was referring to the job she had premarriage to her stay at home status now that all the kids were in school. I guess there was some agreement when they got married that she would work, then she decided not to but he did not agree with this change, then an agreement she would work when all the kids were in school but she was not trying to get a job and the youngest was in 2nd grade. I was very uncomfortable with the conversation and did an "exit stage left".

Over the past year my husband and

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Sat, 03-03-2012 - 2:31pm

No one is making false assumptions about me?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 03-03-2012 - 2:42pm

Correct but your first sentence of your OP was:

Early in my marriage I stated that I would love for my wife to be a SAHM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Sat, 03-03-2012 - 2:51pm
From my original post:
"My wife kept stating that she would start working again once all the kids are in school"
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 03-03-2012 - 3:10pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 03-03-2012 - 3:11pm

Again it says nothing about a prior agreement between you and her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Sat, 03-03-2012 - 3:59pm

What plans have you made to step up to the plate and help if she returns to work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Sat, 03-03-2012 - 4:08pm
"Again it says nothing about a prior agreement between you and her."

Whatever, If it makes you feel better, you just keep telling yourself that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 03-04-2012 - 6:47am

What does your SAHW do while you work at home? About being afraid of losing your job or something happening to you, You're not alone there and frankly, I don't think anybody should SAH if they can't afford to be there, That includes having

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 03-04-2012 - 11:14am
71Bri wrote:

Early in my marriage I stated that I would love for my wife to be a SAHM.

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Mon, 03-05-2012 - 2:04pm

This is actually a reply to all which I seem to not be able to figure out how to do.

When I post questions I do so in a quest to understand not to figure who is right or wrong. I believe there are positives and negatives to WAH/WOH/SAH/etc. I also believe that with each positive/negative there are ways to mitigate the issues.

But I find also on both sides of the fence that instead of saying yes - it is an issue and saying how we mitigated the issue we try to point to why it is not "really" an issue because it did not happen to us.

I think we all know that communication can be a sticking point on marriage and I also think we change as we grow in our lives.

One area

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