The bait and switch

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
The bait and switch
72
Thu, 03-01-2012 - 8:18am

About a year ago I was at a party and a husband said his wife pulled "the bait and switch". (She was there and nodded.) He was referring to the job she had premarriage to her stay at home status now that all the kids were in school. I guess there was some agreement when they got married that she would work, then she decided not to but he did not agree with this change, then an agreement she would work when all the kids were in school but she was not trying to get a job and the youngest was in 2nd grade. I was very uncomfortable with the conversation and did an "exit stage left".

Over the past year my husband and

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 1:00pm

it wasn't ignored that he works at home, because that didn't come out until one of the posters that you are quoting asked what he would do to help out.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 12:24pm

And I read it that both statements were made before children but that she continued with the statements after the children came - with no indication that she had changed her mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 10:58am

I asked questions because like emptynester, I didn't see where bait and switch came into his op. ANd I still don't.

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 9:03am

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 8:38am

As for 71Bri’s thread, that is not really how I read the thread.

What I got from it was some people kept keying on the fact that he said….

“Early in my marriage I stated that I would love for my wife to be a SAHM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 10:28am

Well, I can totally see the wife thinking that her husband did the bait and switch.

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 8:03am

I agree that men and women communicate differently, But I think there's a big difference b/w that and not seeing eye to eye on pretty important issues.. DH and I don't always look at things the same way and I may say to my kid, Go ask your dad.. if I don't want to make the call about something s/he might want to do. But if I said, Gee honey I'm going to SAH and there's nothing you can do about it.. that sends a very dysfunctional message, SAH or WOH and even WAH is one of those things couples do need to see eye to eye on IMO.

 

 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 7:47am
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, Lol...

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2011
Wed, 03-07-2012 - 3:58pm
"Really?!

I should take that as a question? That is your response?! Wow! Now email / text is hard to tell exactly what it means, so I can take that either as a smart ass answer, or just maybe I'm just making an assumption based on the fact..."

Dude, she asked you a question, why are you getting your panties all in a twist?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 03-07-2012 - 11:26am
mamageek wrote:

Maybe. Or maybe she has reservations about going back but does not know why or can't express them effectively. Maybe she is giving mixed messages. Maybe she does not understand her feeling or feels guilty having them.

I have

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

Pages