being a parent can be overwhelming?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
being a parent can be overwhelming?
29
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 10:58am

I was reading another thread on this board and it got me thinking.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 11:13am

I agree with you that people tend to belittle each other's stress. If someone vents to me about something that appears to me to be relatively minor, I assume either that I simply do not understand the full magnitude of the stress they are under or that they have it all in perspective as a relatively minor annoyance and do not need me to tell them that other people have more to worry about. If someone is under stress, they are under stress, not for me to judge.

With that said, I'm sure I've been guilty of it, because the flip side of it is when I am under a ton of stress and trying to keep a smile on my face and someone comes in asking me to watch their kids and clean their house because they are trying to save a broken fingernail.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 11:21am

I also think that at times we all realize what we are stressing about is minor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 11:37am

I know what you are saying - each of us has our own set of circumstances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 12:05pm

Being a human can be overwhelming! I've always disliked the saying, "I felt bad that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet" because it seems to have been coined just to shut up people who have literally any vent. No matter WHAT you say, there is always somebody out there who has it worse. And so therefore we shouldn't ever complain about anything? The man who has no shoes shouldn't complain because he has it better than the man who has no feet. And the man who has no feet shouldn't complain because he has it better than the man who is paralyzed. And the man who is paralyzed shouldn't complain because at least he has a wheelchair and in some countries people just have to be plunked down on filthy wood pallets. And those people shouldn't complain either because at least the local warlord hasn't ordered them to be tortured to death. Etc. etc. etc.

I figure that everybody needs to vent at many times in their life because literally every stage of life has its stressors. From that first scream at birth when the cold air hits for the very first time to the pain of the elderly as their bodies fail, everybody needs to vent because just being alive is stressful. "Veil of tears" and all that. So vent away!

Edited 4/8/2008 12:07 pm ET by susannahk2000




Edited 4/8/2008 12:08 pm ET by susannahk2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 12:13pm

WOW did you ever say that better than I did LOL.

Tina

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 12:23pm

I agree with you...except with the caveat of...consider ones audience.


I remember a few months ago, Glenn Beck was talking with Robin Roberts about his "near Death" hemorrhoids surgery experience.

suzjuly6.jpg picture by LadyCaribou

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 12:37pm
I agree with your caveat too. Considering the audience for the vent is very important. I won't vent about dd's tantrums to somebody who is grieving about infertility, for instance. And I wouldn't vent about minor surgery to somebody fighting a life-threatening illness. Every vent has its place. And every vent has a place where it's not appropriate.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 1:14pm

I think too that sometimes what irritates us about other peoples vents or reaction to our own vents is that it can be awkward and hard for many many people to simply listen. or to simply say "I'm so sorry" or "that must be hard"

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 1:16pm

add one more caveat....this is all assuming you know the person has an illness or is trying to concieve.


I remember when I was I got pg I had no idea on of my DHs cousin has been trying for years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 1:20pm
Oh my. Infertility can make you act very strangely. But that is very, very strange. I would honestly have been afraid to have my newborn around her. She sounds about one step removed from sneaking into a newborn nursery in some hospital somewhere and coming home with a baby and claiming she gave birth in the bathroom during her coffee break.

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