Being "stuck"

Do you think there's such a thing as being "stuck" in your SAH/WOH circumstances? For example, the SAHP who doesn't work because it would cost more in daycare than the paycheck it would bring in? Or the WOHP who works because their financial obligations (whatever they may be) would be too great for a parent to stay home?

Yes. I was stuck and had to WOH after my first child was born. I could have made different choices but I didn't realize until it was too late. Things that stuck me included: raised to value WOH and not value SAH, being the higher earning parent because I avoided vulnerability at all costs, having only one plan that required I WOH, buying a house while pg, not figuring out I wanted to SAH until the week before maternity leave ended.

We did end up selling that house when we divorced when our child was 3 years old. Couldn't SAH as a single mother either.

Or, are you of the mind that "when there's a will, there's a way"?

Sometimes where there is a will there is a way. It comes down to circumstances, choices and luck. A persons will partially affects two of those. I could have SAH the first time had I had some foresight or make some drastic, unplanned changes ignoring my ex's feelings and confronting the values my mother had instilled in me. It would have been a tall order.

The second time around I SAH in part because I had the foresight to marry someone who could support me SAH, I gave myself that option even though I had planned to WOH until after they were born (again), and also because I had gone through lot of personal growth in therapy, and was able to break out of the WOHM gender role conveyed to me throughout my childhood.

If you believe the former, why? If you believe the latter, what suggestions would you make to either party mentioned above to change their circumstances?

Suggestions are hard because everyone's situations are so different, and there's often underlying issues that are not obvious, and because there is luck involved. I guess I would say it helps to examine your beliefs and circumstances and give yourself as many options as possible even if you think you won't need them.