Being "stuck"
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Being "stuck"
| Fri, 09-10-2010 - 6:08pm |
Do you think there's such a thing as being "stuck" in your SAH/WOH circumstances?
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"It comes down to circumstances, choices and luck."
That's a great way to put it.
“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.”
― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
Actually, the biggest "stuck" I know IRL are people who SAH for a long time and then are trying to return to work. If you've had a professional career, then left to SAH, it's tough to find a job in your area of expertise. And not too many employers want to give someone like this a lower level position because she'd be overqualified in spite of the interruption of experience.
People who are really motivated can find lower level work in another field or go back to school. There's
I don't think it's as simple as not liking your situation and changing it. Sometimes you can be stuck between choice A) what you want and choice B) what you need to do. You end up doing B because it's the responsible thing to do, even though it's not your preference.
Or you can be stuck between choice A) what you want and choice B) the other thing you want. I always say I'm stuck living where I live. It's not that I'm physically incapable of changing that. It's that I don't want my oldest to grow up with a long-distance parent, and my ex-husband won't agree to move, so I'm stuck between two choices. I want to live near my family, I also want my child to grow up near both parents. I want both, and no matter what decision I make I am stuck because I can't have both.
John W. Gardner
Ten Rules for Being Human
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
I'm certainly stuck as a WOHM. I'm not sure that I'd choose to SAH if I could, but I can tell you categorically that it would not be physically possible for us to survive on my SO's salary.
People who say 'where there's a will, there's a way' are generally in a position where they have a choice.
"Justice, fairness, and the Aquarian way"
Siggy quote courtesy of
Sometimes you can be stuck between choice A) what you want and choice B) what you need to do. You end up doing B because it's the responsible thing to do, even though it's not your preference.
i don't know what you mean.
I agree, and I'm right there with you. Sometimes, people are just stuck.
I don't think anyone would dispute that as an only parent, I'm stuck WOH. Even if I were to remarry, I'd be stuck WOH because I have a child who is mine to support and no one else's. I can't even quit (or lose) my job and go on welfare because my son receives survivor's benefits from his dad's SS. The only way I could get un-stuck would be to win the lottery but at this point in my life, spending money on tickets is something that I could consider irrresponsible.LOL
Not that any of this matters, because I want to WOH, but the fact of the matter is that it's a darn good thing I want to because like it or not, I'm stuck with it.! :-)
That's what I'm saying. It's how people end up stuck with what they don't want, because they are being responsible and picking the responsible choice. So I WOH the first time, I was stuck WOH, because WOH was the responsible choice and I am responsible. There is no "where there's a will there's a way" because I have no will to choose the less responsible option, even though if things were different and SAH had been responsible on my part, I would have chosen it.
i've said i wish we were back home. but it's the support of others, the positive channeling that gets me through it, i would never use "stuck" to describe that. perhaps i know if we really, really wanted to we could change it?
"i feel stuck" sounds like defeat.
It is defeat! I wanted to SAH with my first born but I accepted defeat, I didn't SAH for many very good reasons. I accepted defeat because it was the responsible thing to do. The question for me is do you dwell on your defeat. I don't. But if we are going to talk about being stuck, well I was stuck and that was because I admitted defeat. I wouldn't change my decision at the time, because it was the responsible thing to do. I don't dwell on being stuck living where I live either. I am an optimist. I say "I'm stuck, but if I have to be stuck somewhere this is a pretty nice place to be stuck in." I don't dwell on the negative aspect, but if someone started a thread about whether you are stuck living where you live and if you don't like it why don't you work on changing it, the answer is yes I am stuck and no I won't be working on changing it.
John W. Gardner
Ten Rules for Being Human
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
John W. Gardner
Ten Rules for Being Human
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
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