Being "stuck"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Being "stuck"
87
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 6:08pm
Do you think there's such a thing as being "stuck" in your SAH/WOH circumstances?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 1:14pm
Yep, luck is not limited to families with a SAHP, many dual WOH families are darned lucky too.

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."


John W. Gardner





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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 12:24pm
OK....I didn't see this post before I posted mine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 12:23pm

I married a musician.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 10:41pm
Yeah. There's some luck involved, but it's more than just luck. Part of the reason I was able to sah for 6 years is not just because I fell in love with a guy who could support us but because *I* worked really hard during the years before I became a parent at age 37. And like you, we didn't "scale up" because we wanted to be able to live on one income regardless of whether we both worked.
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Registered: 04-22-2005
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 8:48pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 11:45am

I do indeed disagree with egd's point, because there comes a point at which further downgrading isn't possible if you are to feed, house and clothe your family. Even in the nasty hovel with secondhand clothes etc.

But I do also agree that it's important to have a lifestyle that the couple finds acceptable, and that most people would dual-WOH loooong before they got to the nasty hovel stage ;o)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 11:05am
what i picked up on was your remark that you can't always forsee the future, my example of an unplanned pg in return was general.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 10:58am

<pregnancy happens when a coupel is least prepared financially or otherwise for it too, so i get that.>>



I'm not sure if you said this to mean specifically about my situation or just in general.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 10:40am

I'm sure we could take our family to a subsistence level without going on welfare. We could live in a small bug infested hovel in a dangerous neighborhood, eat very cheaply and use all second had clothes, no sports, one car, and one of us could SAH on a very low income of the other one.

That kind of lifestyle would not be acceptable to my dh and I. It is so hard to imagine it might as well be impossible. We would be a dual WOH family long before we got there. So I think it comes down to a balance. You can be stuck because you are stuck between 1) a lifestyle that is acceptable and 2) the lifestyle that could be had on one salary. You can still be stuck even when down grading your lifestyle is a possibility, you get stuck because downgrading your lifestyle to that subsistence level is unacceptable.

I think what egd3 is saying is that you can always downgrade, so you really aren't stuck. I disagree with that and I think you do too, because it's equally important to have a lifestyle that the couple finds acceptable.

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."


John W. Gardner





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Ten Rules for Being Human



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 10:08am



Just to clarify, since this was brought up by another poster as well, I didn't say "with a high paying job".

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