I married a musician.
Mmmm... enchiladas... :-)
I do indeed disagree with egd's point, because there comes a point at which further downgrading isn't possible if you are to feed, house and clothe your family. Even in the nasty hovel with secondhand clothes etc.
But I do also agree that it's important to have a lifestyle that the couple finds acceptable, and that most people would dual-WOH loooong before they got to the nasty hovel stage ;o)
"Justice, fairness, and the Aquarian way"
Siggy quote courtesy of
<pregnancy happens when a coupel is least prepared financially or otherwise for it too, so i get that.>>
I'm not sure if you said this to mean specifically about my situation or just in general.
I'm sure we could take our family to a subsistence level without going on welfare. We could live in a small bug infested hovel in a dangerous neighborhood, eat very cheaply and use all second had clothes, no sports, one car, and one of us could SAH on a very low income of the other one.
That kind of lifestyle would not be acceptable to my dh and I. It is so hard to imagine it might as well be impossible. We would be a dual WOH family long before we got there. So I think it comes down to a balance. You can be stuck because you are stuck between 1) a lifestyle that is acceptable and 2) the lifestyle that could be had on one salary. You can still be stuck even when down grading your lifestyle is a possibility, you get stuck because downgrading your lifestyle to that subsistence level is unacceptable.
I think what egd3 is saying is that you can always downgrade, so you really aren't stuck. I disagree with that and I think you do too, because it's equally important to have a lifestyle that the couple finds acceptable.
Just to clarify, since this was brought up by another poster as well, I didn't say "with a high paying job".