Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 4:09pm
Grimal. I wouldn't have kids with a man who felt the way you do.

Who wouldn't want to spend quality time with his kids and my be absent off shopping, doing something for me.

I knew your ideas were screwed up. But this shows they are totally off the planet.

So if the father wants one on one time then he should give his wife permission to run out to shop? But if he doesn't want one on one time, she should hire a sitter at 10 dollars an hour while she shops and he sits there in his chair with the sitter & the child?

Ridiculous doesn't even fit that description and I can't type what does because it would be a TOS violation.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 4:11pm
Yes, your point? When I went pt after dd#2 was born, I did not pick up 16 hours of work at home for the 16 I gave up at work and I went from one child to two. There isn't an hour per hour trade off here so you end up with lots more time to get things done around the house. Speaking of which, I'm only about half way through cleaning mine today.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 4:11pm
Maybe that is why it is taking you way too long to clean house.

2 hours a week for cleaning.

We sporadically clean the rest of the week. You know, make up the bed before you go get in the shower. Pick up the toothpaste & put it in the cabinet when you are done. Load your dishes in the dw & not sit them in the sink (dd even does all these).

I do sweep every day after dd goes to bed. Not because I can't do it when she is up. Because I don't want anyone walking over my tracks I've m ade w/the sweeper.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 4:13pm
Not being difficult. I run a household. I KNOW what it takes and it doesn't take all day. Just because tasks are spread out throughout the day doesn't mean you're working all day. Yes, breakfast, dinner and lunch occur at different times but that doesn't mean you spend all day in meal preparation. There's a lot of time in between to play. When I went PT and did all the housework, what I found really increased was the amount of play time I had.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 4:17pm
So do enlighten us on your methods for lawn mowing and snow shoveling with a toddler and a baby in tow....many would love to learn the secret. While you are at it, I would love to hear your suggestions for vacuuming with a baby who is absolutely petrified of the vaccum cleaner.....oh never mind, I guess that one is easily solved by just letting the baby scream for an hour, silly me!

Oh, and now that I think about it, I would be fascinated to hear how one might go about taking care of all the weekend cooking and cleaning (kitchen, kid's stuff etc,) during the WOHPs working hours during the week. And here all these years I thought that we were going to be stuck with housework on the weekend no matter how much dh and I do during the week!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 4:40pm
Even if you only believe 10% of the nonsense you spew, you have the most twisted, perverted (in the non-sexual sense of the word) view of families and parenting of anyone I've ever met.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 4:48pm
Mine had a meltdown this week when I was gone for a measly 24 hours. First he had to take DS to swimming lessons. I pulled DS out for a year because he has a fear of pools. So we're trying again. DS *refused* to get in the pool and had a meltdown. DH then had a meltdown because he's not used to dealing with seven year old unreasonableness.

Then when it was time to get DS ready for bed, DH discovered we were out of pullups. Called me all in a dither . . . I said, "Welcome to my world."

Then he called me at 7:30 AM to say he and DS were running late and where were the instructions for packing lunch? (Rolling my eyes here.)

When I arrived home, he was tired and wiped out. Said he appreciated everything I do and that I obviously put alot of time into taking care of him and DS. He said I'm welcome to go away anytime, but not anytime soon. hahahahaha

outside_the_box_mom

Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 4:52pm
"Mom can take hers any time."

No, she cannot.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 4:54pm
10 hours of housework and 40 of childcare. Ask a daycare worker if it's a bargain.
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 4:56pm
Two rough coated collies, 2 cats. Your tennis shoe trick is ineffective for our situation.
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03

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