Big Fat Lie
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Big Fat Lie
| Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm |
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.
When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!
When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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But then, hmmmm, I'm still a bit confused....exactly how did you deal with all the weekend cooking and cleaning during the week?
Laura
So I say too. By your definition, Devin should have
&nbs
My point is simply that just because one family agrees to dad coming home and doing dishes doesn't mean it's an entitlement for all SAHP's. The OP was whining about the "big fat lie" of sharing everything except she seems to have forgotten that SHE is the one who decided she would not share the wage earning responsiblity. She seems to expect her dh to share the housework in spite of her having decided not to share the wage earning. If on party can opt out of the wage earning why can't the other opt out of housework since housework takes a lot less time than wage earning?
IMO, the SAHP/PTWP situation should benefit all members of the family not just mom. This is why I did all the housework when I WOHPT. What dh got out of the deal was out of doing housework. Unfortunately, he got rather used to not doing it and I got rather used to doing it all and a year after I went back full time we had some issues. Somehow, I managed to keep doing it all even after I went back full time until I pretty much exhausted myself. I have to admit that was my own fault. I should have stopped doing it all as soon as I went back to work. I still have no idea why I didn't or why dh didn't see that it was time to belly up to the bar.
Now I am talking about housework here and treating the WP like a babysitter. That one really grates on my nerves. Dad is dad he's not moms fill in for a break. I'm not saying that mom doesn't get time off when dad is with the kids. Just that mom shouldn't be calling the shots here. When dh takes the girls for a bike ride or to the movies, I get a break but I don't tell him to do those things. When I take the girls to church or swimming at the civic center, dh gets a break but he doesn't tell me to do those things. Neither of us would tell the other to take the kids so we can get a break. That's not the purpose of 1:1 time. However, the other parent getting a break is a side effect of 1:1 time.
If you need a break, and it sure sounded like the OP did, you schedule it yourself. You don't whine about how your spouse isn't seeing to your need to have time to yourself. You just take what you need. There are plenty of ways to manage that from trading off babysitting services with a friend to moms morning out programs.
EVERYONE needs to take time to themselves.
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
Yes, you do have to take care of your spouse, but part of being a SPOUSE is doing for each other.
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
Considering you have ignored this in every other post in this thread and also the numerous previous threads over this subject, I'm sure you won't respond this time either, but let's try, kay?
What about the stuff that has to be done in the evening or on the weekend when the WOHP is home?
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
MM
Meldi
MM
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