Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:44pm

Sorry, I don't agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:46pm
Where did I say that someone who was ill should be doing it all? I didn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:47pm
Nope. Don't need to make blanket statements to feel good about my life. Life is what it is and you make the best of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:47pm
You act as though people are saying that mom is taking off every evening the minute dad walks through the door. I don't think anyone is saying that. It's an occasional thing.

And it's good for everyone. It's good for dad to have alone time with the kids, it's good for mom to get out alone (and know that she's not "on the clock" like she would be with a sitter). And the opposite is true.

Spouses can't do this for eachother?

Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:48pm
So was I when I worked PT. So? What about caring for my kids was supposed to prevent me from cleaning the house?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:48pm
If they can't manage it during the day, there's plenty of time in the evening. Just ask any DWP couple. That's what they do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:49pm

And the fact that it's coming out of your keyboard doesn't "imply rightness" (sic)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:50pm
So? This proves what? That your dh, for whatever reason, is willing to work the second shift at home. So? That doesn't make it the way it should be. It's just the way it is in your house. Luck you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:51pm
You do it when it needs to be done. Regardless of when things need to be done, housework is NOT a full time job. So what if what you do is spread out over the whole day. It still doesn't amount to a days work.

The fact I cooked dinner in the evening when I WOHPT just made up for the fact I curled up with a good book or napped while the kids napped. The amount of work needed in a day is a few hours at best. That it's spread out over the whole day doesn't make it more work. I didn't work a 12 hour day because I cooked breakfast at 7:00 and did dinner dishes at 7:00. I worked a little here and there thoroughout the day but did a lot of playing with the kids in between. Spreading 3 hours of work over 12 hours doesn't mean you worked 12 hours. You still worked 3.


Edited 9/18/2004 6:55 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:56pm
My guess is she's so angry that SHE has to do 100% of the housework even thought she WOH, that all SAHPs should have to also.

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