Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 6:57pm
LOL, where did I say you should conform? I've said over and over that what you agree to in your house is what you agree to in your house but the fact you agreed to it doesn't make it right. It just makes it what you agreed to. People agree to all sorts of situations that really aren't very fair. They have their reasons for doing so but that doesn't change the inequality of the situation. It just means they agreed to it.

You can do what you want but the fact you want it doesn't make it right. It just makes it what you want.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:00pm
Well, you'd be hard pressed to find ANYONE who agrees with you.


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:02pm
So, that's considered part of the all-important "family time" that means mom can't leave the house when dh is home? Vacuuming?

I see. Dh can watch and play with the kids only if mom is doing some slave labor. But she better not be having FUN when she's vacuuming, for pete's sake...otherwise she'll need to get a sitter for that time frame.

Geez.

Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:07pm

Usually they (DWHP) hire out things such as lawn care and house cleaning.


You have made no exceptions for anybody on this thread. How was I know illness would be considered an exception?


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:07pm

well, for one thing, very few SAHPs I know are actually at home with their kids the majority of the time.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:11pm

Once again, you didn't answer the question, but that doesn't really surprise me.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:13pm

And why wouldn't dad agree?

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:15pm

SIGH. Didn't you get the memo?


<>


All he is there for is sperm and paycheck. Get it? Sperm and paycheck.


Clear out your inbasket wouldja woman?



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:18pm
Sorry, I don't condition my kids to do anything. In my book that's manipulation to get what *I* want or *dh* wants .. not what the child needs.


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:21pm

<<Housework is about half a full time job.>>


Hey, I agree with that!


But then, taking care of children is about 3/4 of a fulltime job ... or even a full time job ....


But, I guess those sahPARENTS aren't taking care of kids too ...



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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