Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:33pm
Wait...haven't you learned what she is trying to tell you?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:36pm
Yes, so why is going to the park being brought up in a discussion on doing housework? I take my kids to the park too but I don't consider it to have anything to do with cleaning the house other than they're not there during that time to make messes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:37pm
No, I answered your question. Go back and read my post. You do what needs to be done when it needs to be done but that doesn't mean you're working all day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:40pm

Hollie, where have you been?


This is what happens: Both parents are working and they have a baby. The totally selfish, totally hormonal (because no reasonable human being would want to stay home) totally irrational mother decides to stay home. She greets her DH at the door one night with the news that she put in her resignation. Since he sees no value in staying home and it hasn't been discussed, he now is being taken advantage of and having to be the sole provider. Because he is now the sole provider, he buys a GPS tracking system to implant on his wife and a slave collar and matching shirt set for him and his wife. Then, the wife stays home and does nothing. Sure the children are cared for but the house is a wreck. He comes home and she expects him to watch the children and remove the slave collar while she goes to women's group at church or goes to the movies with a friend. He actually has to clean some dishes and bath some kids while she is socializing. The absolute horror. He earns the paycheck and he is ruler. So, he never lets her out of the house again...no sirree, Bob. He earns the money and wears the pants. He disconnects the phone, takes away the computer, deadlocks the door outside and boards up the windows. Now, she has to stay in and keep that house clean.


Then, she ends up on Oprah and tries to explain that she read on a message board that this is the way it is suppose to be..she has no rights because she earns no money.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:41pm
I'll agree with that too BUT not all of child care is done during the day. It's spread out over about 12-14 hours a day and done by WP's and SAHP's alike. So the amount more child care a SAHP does in addition to the extra housework by taking on their spouses half STILL doesn't add up to the full time job they left!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:42pm
That is THEIR choice but it doesn't excuse them from housework. However, it does debunk the myth that there's more to do when you SAH because you're home more, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:42pm
No, doing the math and seeing who is doing what is what helps you see fairness in this situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:44pm
LOL, tell that to stbxdh who just spent three weekends putting in three raised flower beds.

That would depend on where you live. Not in my neck of the woods. The only thing I hire out is the care my kids need while I'm working. The housework, yard work and care they ened the rest of the time are mine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:45pm
No, I act as if the OP is whining that her dh isn't taking proper care of her and making sure she gets what she needs. It's HER responsibility to take care of herself!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:45pm
Nope. Mom can go out with her girlfriends while the sitter watches the kids.

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