Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:46pm
No, I'm trying to verify with you....are you saying that in the evening and during the weekend you think the WOHP should just sit around watching the SAHP do everything that needs to be done?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:47pm
I don't do 100% of the housework at the moment. Soon I will be though because I'll be a single parent. Fortunately, all of the housework isn't that much. Otherwise I'd be in real trouble when dh finally leaves.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:48pm
Hmmm? Maybe he's tired after pulling a 14 hour shift driving pile. Maybe he needs some transition time to destress after work. Lots of reasons.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:49pm
Nope. What you agree to in your home is what you agree to. However, that does not mean someone else should expect the same thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 7:59pm
AGain, the point is for the SAHP to be there for the kids, so why wouldn't the SAHP be out doing what they chose to be home for?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 8:01pm
Then what, pray tell, is a spouse supposed to be for?

Melissa(27)


Wife to DH(42); Mom to DD(7), and DS(6)

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 8:04pm
And what, pray tell, is dad doing during this time, and why on Earth wouldn't he want to spend that time with his kids?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 8:10pm

No, only 9 hours of childcare is done while the wohp is away. but 9 hours x 5 is 45 .... you're an engineer, can't you do math?


Edited to say it should have been a "blue in the face" icon.







Edited 9/18/2004 8:31 pm ET ET by savcal_ok

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 8:11pm

Sigh.


Because you insist that if a sahp has only 10 hours of housework to do and 40 hours to do it in, that it should ALL be done.


But they don't have 40 hours to do it in, because they are taking 30-40 of those hours taking kids to the park!



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 8:12pm
And i'D bet a million dollars that the SAHM that decides to do housework ALL day and doesn't take the kids anywhere or do anything with them or teach them anything ... has a WOHP that comes home and bitches that she's not being a proper mother and that the kids are suffering.


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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