Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 8:59pm
Maybe the reason my son isn't in day care is because I don't want anyone but myself and DH taking care of him at this age. I don't need a sitter to come and take care of my son, I do it well enough on my own. And if I want to enter a triathlon or play a volleyball match, DH will either bring our son to the event or take care of him at home. It really isn't an issue when both parents are committed to parenting, and also to their spouse. I honestly don't know why you're insisting that people get sitters - it's asinine.

You sound like you believe that if a person isn't making money for the family, they have no worth. If so, that's your hangup.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 9:01pm
Then you must be a sad person from reading your posts.

Paige

Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 9:02pm
Would the PTWOH spouse be "worth" more in your opinion if they made more than the FTWOH spouse? Would the PTWOH still have to do the "lions share" of the house work in your opinion?
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 9:03pm
I work for PLAY money for DH & I. We don't share equally in wage earning to hear YOU tell it. because I don't pay the mtg or any bills. I don't buy food for the family.

When I sah, I didn't sah to clean during the day. Dh said there was no use for me to stay home if I was going to clean. That wasn't the reason I quit work.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 9:05pm
Dh & I work as a team. We both clean the house. We both do the groc shopping. We both cook.

Any other way in this house would be wrong. We are right for this marriage.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 9:06pm
No, I don't. I have an income I can take from play money to necessity money any time I wish. I woh ft.

I'm sorry you are wrong again. Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sat, 09-18-2004 - 9:20pm
Remember before going out for drinks w/the girls tonight to dial up 1-800BABYSITTER so that your dh doesn't have to watch dear son so you can go.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 1:38am
Why yes! So glad you begin to see the point that not all tasks are possible to complete during the week or while caring for children. If the SAHP can't get manage to get something done during the day it gets left for the evening or weekend when....drum roll please.....both the SAHP and WOHP are at home and able to share the tasks. Oh but wait! I think I'm getting the idea that in your world the WOHP gets to sit on his/her a$$ all weekend and evenings merely by virtue of the fact that they bring in the paycheck while the SAHP needs to pay for his/her luxury of sah by working every second of every day.....SAHPs certainly don't deserve breaks of any kind do they?

hint: the DWP usually share the tasks left over for evenings and weekends.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 1:54am
But but but Melissa....don't you know that the spouses are just supposed to be egg/sperm donors and paychecks? You don't actually think that spouses are supposed to care about each other, support each other, make life easier for each other, enjoy providing opportunities for fun and pleasure for each other or any other kind of nonsense like that, do you?

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 2:02am
And maybe mom wants to go out on a weekend evening when he hasn't just arrived home from a from a 14 hour shift driving pile (wouldn't the kids already be in bed asleep by this time anyway? What would dad actually have to do with the kids at all if he's been gone for 14 hours?) Or maybe dad just got home from an easy 9 hour day with no commute, an hour lunch break, several coffee breaks and having just had a lot of fun playing with some new equipment. The answers to when and how people can reasonably switch off child care are various as the situations different families are in.

Laura

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