Big Fat Lie
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Big Fat Lie
| Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm |
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.
When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!
When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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"This mom isn't looking for her dh to bond with his kids." Good, because managing that relationship not her job, it's his.
"That's not what dads time at home should be about." And why not? Remember? Per you, it's not hard at all to do housework and bond with the kids at the same time.
Not only that but, per CLW, it is not only easy to do housework and bond with the kids simultaneously, it is actually an important way to bond with the kids. So if the SAHP gets every scrap of housework done during the week and leaves nothing over for the WOHP to do in the evenings or on the weekends with the kids then he/she is actually depriving the WOHP and the children of an important aspect of bonding, right?
Laura
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
I am just not understanding why you think that most families have a SAHP so that the SAHP can be a maid to the WOHP? IME most families have a SAHP so that the SAHP can spend more time with the kids NOT so that the WOHP doesn't have to lift a finger around the house.
It has also been my experience that most families with a SAHP do NOT expect the WOHP to split the housework 50/50. They just don't expect to be treated like the maid.
Jenna
She will be doing 100% of the housework for her household, and he will be doing 100% of the housework for his household. What will change is a three person household generates less housework than a four person household (one less person's laundry, dishes, one less person messining things up). If she were now doing 100% of the housework then when he leaves she would be doing less total housework even though the % would stay the same. But since she is now doing less than 100% the total amount of housework she does will be more.
I never realized how much gaining/loosing a person can have an effect on housework until my DDs started going away for the school year and home for the summer. It is so much easier to keep a house clean when it is just three of us then when it is five of us.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
outside_the_box_mom
Yippy skippy.
PumpkinAngel
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
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