Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 2:46pm
What?! You dont want to live with someone whose idea of a grand time is to get *jammies* on at 7p and sit down in front of the tv with their microwaved chicken fried steak on a nice little tray in front of them, all prepared to watch 3+ hours of the Adams family?


Sorry couldnt resist!! LOLOLOLOL



dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 2:47pm
Can you imagine doing that? We don't sit and keep track of who worked how many hours and who did how many hours of housework. We each go to work, we come home and when we are home we do what needs to be done. Some days I work more hours, some days he works more hours. We really don't keep track.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 2:48pm
Congratulations on one of the rudest posts on the board for this Sunday afternoon. Do you feel better now? What is wrong with people getting to live their lives like they want & it being polar opposite from you? My hubby & I enjoy spending every second we can get together. That doesn't mean we don't have other interests. He has interests that I could care less about. Vice versa. But you know what. We like to spend nights together in front of the tube with our toddler. My hubby cooks us up a good meal & we just hang out together. My hubby & I are equals. I'd pass on your life from what I've read. But that doesn't make it less valuable like you are indiciating with this post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 2:52pm
What's wrong with Paige living her life the way she wants? Don't you live yours the way you want? Or do you just want to live yours & have a say in everyone elses. My hubby & sit in front of the tube watching our toddler play, watching tv after he cooks dinner every night. So what? How is that doing anything to you that warrants sarcasm? I think it is ridiculous to get your feathers ruffled because people don't want to live like you. You earn a second congratulatory for being just as rude. Your posts are becoming more & more of that. They use to be nice. Oh well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 2:58pm
She can live her life any way she desires. But she can expect it to be up for debate when she posts about it on a debate board.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 3:02pm
What about people who don't hire a nanny, sitters, any kind of childcare services? Are they suppose to sit home 24/7 because you don't think when dad walks in the door that mom should say she is going out for awhile? Because poor dad has been working all day and mom has done nothing but sit & play toys with the baby for the day? I'm glad I married a man who understands that I need to be myself & I don't have to hire a sitter to do that because he is the baby's father. I quit work (I just work for blowing money, but I already miss it) to SAH when we moved because my baby has not ever stayed with anyone other than my mil or sister. I want to go back to work badly. I've looked at a few jobs that I'm interested. But I can't, just can't yet. Beacuse I don't want my toddler with any type of childcare. Definately not in another's home or center (preference, no huge reason there). I've got to find someone to be a Nanny & come in the house. But that is hard to do. We thought about when hiring a maid about hiring a Nanny/Maid all in one. We quickly decided not to do that. (no, I'm one of those SAHs that sits & watches tv, plays with the baby, goes out to do fun things, sits online & shops. Hubby says his father never expected his mother to clean & he doesn't expect it either. I'm a cleaning nut, I have to have spotless house, no dust, no dirt, no clutter, perfect). But in your thinking, I'd never get out. Well when my hubby came home last week & said his partner's wives were inviting me to "welcome me" to a ladies' social he would have been so mad at me if I told him I'd hire a sitter so he wouldn't have to take care of his own baby. He read over the posts this morning. He thought they were insane that a father shouldn't have to keep his kids while mom gets a break. He said if he had a parent of one of his little patients that told him this he'd send them to a psychiatrist pronto. What a screwed up & weird world. Is that located on earth or mars?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 3:03pm
I read your posts. I wouldn't reply to the bombarding of obnoxious questions even on a debate board where everything is up for debate. Looks like she declined to answer & was right to do so. That thread was pathetic. I felt sorry for her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 3:14pm
You know, this is a debate board. If you take a look at this thread, paigeandhannah was right up there questioning and disregarding other peoples lifestyle choices with the rest of the crowd. Her choices, when she posts about them on a DEBATE board, are not going to be left unchallenged. Why is it okay for her to tell a poster they must be a *sad* person for thinking a certain way, etc., but not okay for anyone to question HER?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 3:17pm
I certainly wasnt the only one asking questions. And what is obnoxious about asking about an educators methods or asking what kind of school they teach at? Or asking how they can value education and learning when they dislike reading?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 3:27pm
I'll stand right beside you and proudly admit I questioned Paige on her teaching methods and the field in which she earned her Masters.
Virgo
 

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