Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 3:48pm
WELL I TOTALLY SEE WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM. I HAVE A SIX YEAR OLD AND A 2 1/2 YEAR OLD. I STOPPED WORKING ABOUT 5 MONTHS AGO... I WORKED AT A DAYCARE WITH MY OLDEST ATTENDED PRE-K AND KINDERGARTEN THERE. MY 2 1/2 ALSO WENT THERE. I FELT OK WITH IT BECAUSE I WORKED THERE. THEY HAD NEVER BEEN IN DAYCARE BEFORE THAT. MY 2 1/2 YEAR OLD GOT OUT OF THE SCHOOL ALONG WITH 3 OTHER CHILDREN ALL THE WAY TO THE END OF THE STREET THANK GOD A MAN AT THE BUSINESS DOWN THERE CAUGHT THE KIDS. THERE WERE JUST FEET AWAY FROM THE MAIN STREET IN OUR TOWN. THAT WAS NOT THE ONLY THING THAT HAPPENED AT THE SCHOOL.. MANY MANY THINGS HAD HAPPENED BUT THAT TOPPED IT OFF FOR ME! MY KID ALMOST GOT KILLED! NEEDLESS TO SAY THE STATE HAD FINALLY CAME IN AFTER THAT HAD BEEN REPORTED. I GUESS A KID HAS TO BE REALLY HURT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN.... AND THAT TEACHER IS STILL WORKING THERE! GO FIGURE! ANYWAYS I AM NOW AT HOME WITH MY KIDS. I WATCH TWO OTHER KIDS THAT HAD WENT TO THE SCHOOL. MY DAY IS A BUSY DAY! MY SIX YEAR OLD SON GOES TO SCHOOL. SO I HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD, A TWO YEAR OLD AND A ONE YEAR OLD AT HOME WITH ME FOR NINE HOURS A DAY. MY HUSBAND WORKS NIGHTS AND ALSO ATTENDS SCHOOL. THE ONLY THING I EXPECT FROM HIM IS TO TAKE THE TRASH OUT! YEAH RIGHT! IT STILL DOESNT GET DONE TILL I RAISE HELL ABOUT IT! COME ON I WISH ALL I HAD TO DO IS TAKE TRASH OUT!!!! GIVE ME A BREAK! I WASH CLOTHES, DISHES, COOK, CLEAN, TEND TO THE KIDS, MOW THE YARD WHICH TAKES ABOUT TWO HOURS TO DO. HE LEAVES FOR SCHOOL AT 4:30 PM GETS OUT OF SCHOOL AT 10:00PM MONDAY -THURSDAY. WORKS FROM 11PM-7AM NEVER HAS WEEKENDS OFF. HE SLEEPS FROM 8AM-3PM THEN IS OFF TO SCHOOL. SO WE REALLY DO NOT SPENT MUCH TIME TOGETHER. I AM STUCK DOING EVERYTHING! BUT HE SAYS HE DOES SO MUCH.. YEAH RIGHT.. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A MAID.. LIKE ITS JUST EXPECTED FROM ME. LAST NITE TOPPED IT OFF FOR ME. I LET HIM SLEEP AN HOUR LATE.. WHEN HE GOT UP I ASKED HIM IF HE MINDED SITTING WITH THE KIDS WHILE I WENT TO THE MALL WITH MY MOM AND SISTER.. VERY RUDELY HE SAID WHATEVER. WHEN WE GOT TO THE MALL I CALLED TO CHECK ON THE KIDS.. KIDS WERE SCREAMING AND HE SOUNDED EXTREMELY PISSED.. GOD FORBID MOM GETS A BREAK.. SO AFTER ABOUT 2 HOURS I CALLED TO CHECK ON THEM AGAIN..STILL THE SAME SO I JUST TOLD MY MOM TO BRING ME BACK HOME..HE DONT UNDERSTAND I WORK 24-7.. ITS NOT HE IS HAVING TO DO ALOT AT SCHOOL. HE IS GOING TO POLICE ACADEMY..HE LOVES IT.. ITS FUN.. YEAH WHEN DOES MOMMY HAVE FUN! NEVER!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 4:30pm
I agree, and while I pretty much always take people at face value when it comes to what they say about themselves here, something about her posts has just seemed *off* to me from day one. Its usually pretty easy to tell the genuine people from the created personas, imo.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:27pm

Things that make you go hmmm...


Paige's posts


Cocnult Palms making a comeback when things are getting hot for Paige. Everyone needs a supporter.


I have always wondered about creating false personas for messageboards. I have a hard enough time remembering events in my own life. I can't imagine creating another life to keep up with. I was worried, at first, that people would think I was false with my weird life and widowhood but I have always tried to be true and honest. Why invest time somewhere where you are lying?

"You just have to keep making decisions. Even wrong decisions" Joe Simpson in "Touching the Void" about surviving climbing down a mountain with a shattered leg.


Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:35pm
You know, Kristi, I often wonder if there are some men on here hanging out...just having fun, being one of the chicks.

But the tone of Paige's post also remind me of sahforever.

Meldi

ps: appreciate the honesty :)

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:40pm

If it were men, would they start threads like: What do you wear to do housework? Shouldn't every woman wear thongs? Porn is great for a marriage! It's the duty of women to have sex daily!!


It is a sad man that pretends to be

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:43pm
Where did I say they shouldn't get breaks? They have plenty of time for breaks BECAUSE housework doens't take every minute of the day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:45pm
Because they fit with what I read for averages too. Last I read, housework was taking appx 14 hours per week. That makes me pretty typical. Sure some take more but surely nowhere near the hours they gained when they decided to SAH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:46pm
LOL, because the kids don't take every minute of the day either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:47pm
LOL, it doesn't take all day long. That's the point. There's still plenty of time left over to play.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:48pm
No. I did. It's an issue of time. I cleaned the house because I had more time to do. The fact I outearned dh even working PT was moot.

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