Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:49pm
So what? That doesn't make it difficult to keep house. If you add up the hours actually worked, their aren't very many of them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:50pm
No. Read that again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:51pm
For their spouse to come home from work and clean house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:51pm
Not at all dear.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:52pm
What does that have to do with a discussion of housework?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:53pm
I believe he was at a poker game.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:53pm
I think it all depends on your standards.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:54pm

Whoa, Nellie. Stop the train.


Let me get this straight: you outearned your DH working part time but you were expected to do all the household cleaning, the childcare, the bills and all the yard work? Because you worked less hours? You didn't hire out these tasks...why?


Did he make you feel less of a person or did you make yourself feel less because your paycheck was

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:54pm
No, dad shouldn't be treated as moms relief. He is not moms pinch hitter so she can go out with the girls, as the OP makes it sound in her OP. He's dad. He has his own role to play and it's not babysitter so mom can go out. That turns dad into a replacement for mom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 5:58pm
But again, when you add housework into daily childcare of small children and infants, along with other household tasks aside from actual cleaning that need to be accomplished, it can add up to a 40 hr week.

You cannot assume that your experience is universal, just as you cannot assume that everyones cleanliness and childcare standards are the same as yours.


dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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