Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:00pm

Well then you must be practicing selective reading or that paige is not on the board today?


<<What is wrong with people getting to live their lives like they want & it being polar opposite from you? >>


Nothing...where did I say it was?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:01pm
I wish, lol. Most of what has to be done now will have to be done just twice because there are two different households. I can't wait until he leaves and we're in two different households. Talk about a slow process. I was hoping for a final decree by Christmas but that's not going to happen since I delayed having him served because dd#2 went into the hospital the week he was supposed to be served.

I suppose I will have less to do in that there will be days when the kids aren't even here when they go on visitation. That part is going to be hard to take. I'm used to seeing my kids every day. Why couldn't dh just run off with his secretary. She's too smart. She wouldn't have him, lol. I just want this over and for life to go on. Dh still thinks we can work things out. Ain't no way I'm working them out the way he wants, lol. He ought to know that by now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:03pm
No, he'll be doing the housework at his house, wherever that may be. Unless he can find some SWT to do it for him, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:03pm
ROTFLMAO. And I should take your word because?????
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:04pm
Mom can do what she wants. She has all day to do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:05pm
That is their choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:06pm
I think the person who has vastly more time to do housework should do the housework in return for the WP working to support them SAH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:07pm
Not hardly. What is done for 9 hours while the WOHP is away is supervision. The actual amount of child care varies but should be considerably less than 9 hours. Kids don't require child care while sleeping or while playing in the park while mom sits on a bench reading a book.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:09pm

<<He thought they were insane that a father shouldn't have to keep his kids while mom gets a break. He said if he had a parent of one of his little patients that told him this he'd send them to a psychiatrist pronto. What a screwed up & weird world. Is that located on earth or mars?>>


Hmmm.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:10pm
Because they make sense. If one party has 45 more hours at home and there's 20 of housework to do, 10 of which they would have done if they also WOH those 45 hours, it makes sense for the person who has the time to do the 10 hours for the one who is working to support them at home. I see no reason a WP with a SAHS should be expected to come home to housework in normal situations. It doesn't make sense to me that they would.

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